Won't be with You Again in this Life

Nicholas Barre would rather spend every night reading in front of the portrait of his childhood sweetheart than touch me with a single finger.

He hated me for forcing him to marry me and he hated me even more for causing the tragic death of his childhood sweetheart.

Five years into our marriage, I grew so angry that I resorted to every possible means to seduce him, only to be met with his daily looks of hatred.

I thought we would torment each other until we were old.

Until the Al Capone Gang burst into the old mansion with guns and surrounded me, Nicholas stood in front of me, sacrificing his life so I could survive.

“Olivia Valle, if there is another life, I hope we don’t torment each other anymore. It’s too exhausting.”

“After I die, bury me with Paula. If I can’t protect her in life, I’ll at least be there for her in death.”

The flames shot up into the sky. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back on the day I had insisted on breaking off the engagement and marrying Nicholas.

I took the phone and withdrew the words “break off the engagement” that were on the tip of my lips.

“Alright, I’ll marry the wheelchairbound gang leader next door.”

——

The moment the call ended, the office door was forcefully pushed open.

Nicholas, who had always been emotionless, showed a rare sense of urgency.

“You… You can’t break off the engagement!”

“Although Stephen Martinez became disabled in the family feud, the Valle and Martinez families are longtime allies.”

“Failing the marriage alliance will strain the relationship between the two families, making it harder for you to take over the group in the future.”

In my previous life, Nicholas had done the same thing, begging me to marry into the family with every possible argument, claiming to think of me and the company, but never once asking if I was willing.

Seeing my expressionless face, Nicholas’s face grew angry.

“Although Stephen is cold and cunning, once you become his wife, I will protect you.”

“As the heir, how can you harm the company for personal gain?”

“Please stop being so childish!”

The disgust, irritation and revulsion in the man’s eyes began to overlap with those of the person who had forced me into marriage in my previous life.

It turned out he had also been reborn.

“Forget it.”

“I need to take the afternoon off. Sign here.”

Nicholas pulled the day off request from his chest pocket, pressed it onto the table with a single finger and pushed it toward me.

His expression was determined. He was convinced that I would agree without hesitation and find someone to escort him to his destination.

“Reason for taking the day off?”

The urgency in the man’s eyes froze instantly, replaced by disbelief. In the previous life, no matter what demands he made, I would nod in agreement.

Even to accommodate Nicholas’s mourning for Paula Denn, I had specially converted a room in the old house into a memorial hall.

I had once believed that my repeated indulgence and concessions could be fueled by love.

However, I never realized that the moment Paula died, Nicholas and I had already lost any possibility of a future together.

“It’s personal matters.”

Nicholas’s throat tightened and he looked at me with a hint of scrutiny.

It was as if I were a clingy girlfriend who couldn’t have him, resorting to different methods to pursue him and prying into his privacy.

I signed the approval form and handed it to Nicholas.

“From now on, please request any future leave a day in advance.”

“Also, knock before entering my office.”

Since Nicholas had already given all his love to Paula, he no longer needed to be an exception for me.

Looking at my businesslike attitude, Nicholas hesitated slightly before taking the request form.

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, but he didn’t say anything. He turned and gently closed the door.

Just then, Stephen sent me some messages:

[Compared to a dog that can’t protect its master, who has a disability like mine, what is the best solution for Miss Valle?]

[Wishing us a pleasant collaboration, my fiancée.]

I lowered my eyes and turned off the screen without replying.

I had already chewed on the bitterness of taking something by force a million times in my previous life.

“Nicholas, in this life, I will let you get what you want.”

When I got home from work, the car was unusually quiet.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw the butler’s pale face and had a bad feeling.

Hurrying closer, I saw Nicholas holding a woman, carefully placing her on the sofa.

The other servants, as if following their master’s orders, brought medicine, water and prepared meals, bustling about in a flurry of activity.

All their hurried movements came to a halt the moment they saw me.

I stared intently at Nicholas.

“The private matter you mentioned before was bringing Paula back to Seville City?”

“Do you not know she was raised by the Valle Family as my standin? If she returns to Seville City, it’ll expose my location. Do you want me to die?”

Before I could finish my sentence, Nicholas interrupted me in a deep voice.

“Enough of this nonsense!”

“I’m your fiancé. I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

“But Paula is my… sister. I’ll never let her stay alone in a den of wolves. Even if someone has to die, it can’t be her!”

At that moment, the atmosphere became extremely tense.

Even in my previous life, after five years of marriage, we had grown to despise each other, but we had never been this tense before.

Paula’s eyes were slightly red and her voice trembled a little.

“I knew the young lady wouldn’t let me stay here. It’s okay, Nicholas. I’ll leave.”

As faint sobs escaped her lips, Nicholas’s body stiffened.

She was made to leave, but Nicholas Barre stopped her.

He stood in front of Paula in a protective stance.

“There are many who look like you. We don’t need another Paula. Let her go. As long as she stays here, I’ll do anything you want.”

Our eyes met.

In my previous life, no matter how I threatened or tempted him, Nicholas never budged an inch from his principles.

Now, for Paula, he was willing to cross his own line and send me such a blatant signal of affection.

A mocking smile crossed my lips.

“Nicholas Barre, as a bodyguard, you brought someone back to the mansion without permission, disregarding the master’s safety.”

“Have you learned your rules so well?”

“Butler, prepare fifty lashes with the family whip. Teach this traitor what the rules are!”

Nicholas was sure I wouldn’t dare, so he swiftly removed his shirt. His eyes fixed on me.

With a composed demeanor, Nicholas tapped out a rhythm with his hands, calculating in his mind how many seconds it would take for me to call a halt.

The first lash landed and his body collapsed onto the ground with a thud.

When he raised his head again, the composure in his eyes had vanished, leaving only confusion and doubt.

After fifty lashes, Nicholas’s back was already a bloody mess.

He gasped for breath and whispered in my ear, “You’ve been reborn too?”

“Olivia, you can keep me by your side for the rest of my life.”

“But I won’t let you kill Paula a second time.”

The intense smell of blood transported me back to the night of the port fire in my previous life.

The gang’s deputy had sensed danger and arranged for Paula, my standin, to be sent to the port to divert attention.

But our movements seemed to be known to the enemy, who systematically forced me into a corner.

I realized something was wrong when I entered the ship and saw Paula.

Fifty tons of explosives had been placed around us. The explosion’s deafening roar engulfed everything.

I clutched Paula’s arm tightly, but after the massive impact, all that remained in my hands was a piece of her clothing.

After searching through the stacked containers for thirty minutes, I still couldn’t find Paula’s figure.

Looking back at the masked troops chasing after me with flashlights, I had no choice but to leave her behind to save myself.

When I returned to the old house, my clothes were already torn and tattered, with bloodstains clinging to my hair and skin. The wounds had become infected and emitted a foul odor.

Seeing me on the brink of death, Nicholas’s first words were to demand information about Paula’s whereabouts.

His eyes, filled with hatred, locked onto mine.

Nicholas wore a shirt, but the white fabric was instantly stained with blood. A hint of vulnerability flashed in his eyes.

“The punishment has been meted out. Can Paula stay at the old house now?”

“I’m begging you.”

In my previous life, no matter how much I forced Nicholas, his expression never wavered.

He never bowed his head or begged. I couldn’t provoke even the slightest emotion from him.

But now, just to let Paula stay at the old mansion, Nicholas had shown weakness for the first time.

I sighed bitterly, silently consenting to his actions and turned to go upstairs.

The contract to release Nicholas from his indentured servitude still lay quietly in my bag.

Looking at him like this, I suddenly felt that this gift should wait until I had successfully arranged a marriage alliance before giving it to him, so that it would be full of surprises.

Suddenly, footsteps echoed outside my study room.

The door knocked and Nicholas Barre slowly walked in, holding a cup of coffee.

“I heard from Aunt Laura that you were still busy with work, so I specially ground some coffee for you.”

“What happened tonight… I acted impulsively. I shouldn’t have argued with you in front of the servants.”

“But I couldn’t just stand by and watch Paula die. You understand me, don’t you?”

I stared at his reddened eyes, my voice trembling.

“You can’t just watch her die, so you can treat my life like a joke!”

Nicholas clenched his fists tightly. “I’m your bodyguard, your fiancé and one day your husband. I wouldn’t dare to joke with your life.”

“There must be a way to save both of us.”

Once upon a time, we argued endlessly over Paula’s death.

By the end, all that remained were hurtful words. Nothing remained in either of our hearts.

“Go out. I’m tired.”

Nicholas set down his coffee and walked toward the door. His eyes flickered with emotions I couldn’t decipher as he turned back.

“I heard you stayed up all night for the company. You should try to get some rest.”

It was already midnight when I finished reading the proposal.

Sighing, I got up to go downstairs for some water, but when I reached the stairs, I noticed a warm yellow light lit the living room.

Paula rolled up her sleeves, revealing the deep and shallow cuts on her arms to Nicholas.

“You didn’t have to apologize to that kind of person for me!” Her eyes filled with tears.

“When you were being punished, I was stopped from being with you to share your pain.”

“It’s the only way I could share your suffering with you.”

Nicholas’ eyes were filled with tenderness and his trembling hands gently touched Paula’s arms.

“Paula… you didn’t have to do this…”

The atmosphere between them grew increasingly intimate, their bodies slowly drawing closer.

As if unable to control themselves, they exchanged a sweet, lingering kiss.

Nicholas’ hands caressed Paula’s back, his possessive gestures almost as if he wanted to merge her into his body.

Suddenly, Nicholas opened his eyes and pushed Paula away.

“We can’t do this! I am already engaged to Olivia...”

“I’ll go find some gauze to bandage it.”

With that, he tried to leave in a hurry, but turned around and locked eyes with me.

Nicholas’s expression froze instantly.

He stammered an explanation to me, “Paula’s hand is injured. I was just helping her bandage it.”

With that, he quickly brushed past me and fled the living room.

Even though she was caught redhanded, Paula didn’t show a hint of fear in her eyes as she looked at me.

The wound on her wrist was still bleeding, but her expression was lighthearted and defiant.

“What good does it do to force him?”

Paula licked her lower lip, as if savoring the taste of the kiss, “Nicholas would still be moved by just a glance from me.”

“How does it feel to have your beloved taken away by the substitute you created yourself?”

“You don’t know yet, do you? When Nicholas brought me back, we did even more outrageous things in the car.”

She pulled open her collar and the red mark on her neck burned my sanity.

I recalled the scene from my previous life where Nicholas had frantically read aloud in front of Paula’s portrait in the funeral hall.

Slap!

A sharp pain shot through my palm.

Paula’s head was knocked to the side by my blow. She covered her face with her hands. Her eyes filled with disbelief, yet the corners of her mouth curled slightly upward.

The sound of a medical kit hitting the ground echoed from behind us.

My wrist was gripped so tightly that five fingerprints were left behind. Nicholas dragged me into the room.

He pressed me against the wall and my breath was instantly stolen.

Coming to my senses, I bit down hard on Nicholas’ lower lip.

He winced in pain and wiped away the blood with his hand.

“What’s wrong?”

Nicholas asked softly, “Aren’t you angry about that kiss?”

“I lost my mind. Don’t make things difficult for Paula.”

Having spent half my life with Nicholas, how could I not hear the protective tone in his voice toward Paula?

Seeing that I didn’t budge, he pulled my wrist toward him and pressed a kiss on the red mark.

“You can hit me as much as you want.”

He paused for a moment before continuing, “Do whatever you want.”

“After all... you’re back, right?”

“In the last life, I saw all your passion. This time, I won’t push you away.”

The lingering tone of Nicholas’s voice was utterly seductive, but I remained frozen in place.

The thing I had once longed for was now within my grasp.

“As long as you don’t make things difficult for her.”

All I felt was disgust welling up in my chest.

Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering echoed through the room.

From outside came Paula’s pained moans.

In less than a second, Nicholas reacted and rushed out.

Paula lay on the ground, vomiting continuously.

Her clothes were covered in vomit, but Nicholas didn’t care as he cradled her in his arms.

“Paula!”

His tense tone betrayed his anxiety. His gaze shifted to the table, where the vibrant lily pollen caught his eye.

“You know Paula is allergic to pollen, yet you had someone buy lilies?”

The earlier sensual atmosphere vanished instantly and Nicholas returned to the domineering man I knew.

He lunged forward, grabbing me by the throat and pressing me against the wall.

“If anything happens to Paula, I won’t let you off easily.”

With that, Nicholas picked up Paula and strode out the door.

In my previous life, no matter how dire the situation, he always remembered his status.

He would never do anything that would overstep the bounds with me.

With all our emotions exhausted in this new life, he didn’t even notice the simplest frameup.

Watching their backs as they walked away, I suddenly felt unprecedented relief.

I was grateful for their indifference, which allowed me to watch them walk down the path to certain death without pity.

Early the next morning, the butler handed me a document with a troubled look on his face.

The title, “Prenuptial Agreement,” made me furrow my brows.

“Miss Valle, he doesn’t seem to know about your marriage to the Martinez Family in three days.”

“What do you think?”

I lifted my hand and placed the prenuptial agreement on the candle to burn it. “There’s no need to tell him.”

“I’ve already said that my marriage is a topsecret matter.”

“Those within the inner circle need to know. A bodyguard doesn’t need such detailed information.”

On the wedding day, Nicholas looked slightly anxious as he kept glancing at his watch.

According to tradition, someone should have already delivered the wedding attire and arranged a private car to take him to the wedding venue.

But today, the villa was empty and utterly desolate.

The TV suddenly turned on and the loud noise disturbed his nerves.

Just as he was about to turn off the TV, he saw that it was showing the live broadcast of my wedding.

I was holding hands with Stephen, smiling broadly.

Nicholas’s pupils dilated.

The next moment, he rushed to the garage, stepped on the gas pedal and headed to the wedding venue that was supposed to be for him and me.