When Love Fades

On the way home after being bailed out of the police station by Camille, I filed for a divorce.

“Charlie, there must be a limit to willfulness.”

I looked at Camille who was concentrating on driving and suddenly laughed.

“I have thought it through. Camille…” I turned my head to her, my eyes firm. “Let’s go our own way.”

——

The Maserati stopped on the side of the road. The atmosphere in the car dropped to freezing point.

“Reason.” Camille held the steering wheel, her voice as cold as ice. “Give me a reason on why you did this.”

I looked at Camille and suddenly felt quite boring. I lowered the window and pointed at the car that had been secretly following us in the rearview mirror.

“You’ll get the answer within ten seconds. Someone will come to you soon.”

I counted down confidently.

“Ten.”

“Nine.”

“Eight.”

Before I could get to seven, a figure had already gotten out of the Porsche behind and the man came up with red eyes.

“Charlie, I really didn’t mean it today. I was asked to get the clothes because I had to accompany Camille to the dinner. I didn’t know you were sleeping at home and I didn’t know you would call the police.”

He continued, “This matter is my fault after all. Please don’t quarrel with Camille because of this. I beg you. If you are really unhappy,” the man grabbed my hand and pointed to his face, “you can hit me to vent your anger.”

My hand was pulled by him. I was about to hit him, but Camille shouted coldly, “Charlie, where is your manner? Embarrassing!”

I just thought it was ridiculous. See? I didn’t even do anything. I just sat here and passively accept it and it would become my fault.

I pulled my hand back and turned to face Camille. “Do you understand, Camille?”

I felt relieved. I was so heartbroken that I was numb and almost had no emotions. I unbuckled my seat belt and told her. “This is the reason. Camille, let’s get a divorce.”

I opened the car door and smiled at him under the shocked and sly eyes of Camille’s secretary.

“Congratulations. You have finally made it after all these years of intruding into my and Camille’s lives. I don’t want Camille anymore.” I turned around and left.

Camille hurriedly got out of the car and grabbed my wrist. “Charlie, what the hell are you going crazy about? Do you know that because you called the police today, I missed a project worth hundreds of millions? Just because you said you were afraid, I rushed to the police station like crazy and as soon as I arrived, I saw you calling the police to arrest my secretary!”

She continued, “I have tolerated you for a long time. You always target Dane and Dane has been saying good things for you, asking me not to be angry with you and to get along well with you! Don’t be so ungrateful!”

My hand was pulled so hard that it hurt and the scar on my wrist hurt even more. I frowned and looked at my wrist, which was already half red.

“Let go!” I pulled Camille’s hand away with force, rubbed my painful wrist, raised my hand and slapped Camille in the face.

“Camille! I have tolerated you for a long time, too!”

Camille and I had been together for ten years. Even though we had quarreled and had a cold war, I had never embarrassed Camille in front of outsiders like what she did to me now, but I didn’t want to tolerate it anymore.

I looked at Camille and went straight to the point. “I’m telling you, when I was hospitalized with a high fever, you accompanied your secretary without even visiting me. When my car was rearended, you accompanied your secretary to watch the stars and the moon and every time I had something to do, you chose your secretary! Until today!” I looked at Camille and let out my frustration.

“You told your secretary the password to our front door when I took medicine and was about to go to bed! You let your secretary break into our bedroom to take your things! After I called the police, you didn’t care about me, but just asked me to sign a letter of understanding! Camille, we are completely finished!”

I was furious. I couldn’t control my expression after all and my emotions of maintaining stability completely collapsed. Seeing Camille’s face change slightly, I turned to explain subconsciously with guilt.

“I didn’t know you were back from a business trip! How could I refuse Director Spencer’s plan? I had no choice but to let Dane take the things. Why did you have to make such a fuss, Charlie!”

Camille looked at me with disappointment. “Since when did you become so jealous and hold on to some unfounded things and won’t let go? Charlie, no woman would like you like this!”

I actually really thought that I would not be sad anymore. At least, from signing the letter of apology at the police station to accompanying Camille in the car, I had always maintained my dignity and my proper manners. I even recalled all the memories of Camille and me in the car.

In the end, I made a summary. I wanted to end it decently. But tears would still fall uncontrollably because of Camille’s complaints and accusations, like pearls that had fallen off the string and could not be stopped no matter what.

“Yes, no one would like me like this.” I choked out. “So, I don’t need your love either.”

I wiped my tears and turned to leave, but Dane grabbed my hand. He cried with me, crying even harder than me and kept apologizing to me. “Charlie, I really didn’t mean it. Don’t get angry with Camille. I will resign tomorrow and disappear immediately! Camille really loves you. Please don’t make Camille sad, okay?”

I resented Dane’s innocent act the most. Seeing Dane crying, I stopped crying, shook him away and cursed, “Get out!”

Dane was thrown to the ground and looked up at me in surprise.

“Charlie!” Camille helped Dane up with heartache and yelled at me when she saw Dane’s palm was scratched. “Are you crazy? Apologize to Dane!”

“Stop dreaming! You want me to apologize?” I looked at Camille and then at Dane, who had a proud look in his eyes and said, “If you don’t agree to divorce, we will go through the prosecution procedure.”

I didn’t look back and didn’t care about Dane’s sobbing and Camille’s voice coaxing him and calling me crazy. Instead, I took a taxi to a house of my childhood friend, Jesse.

Jesse said nothing. After taking me into the house, he took out dozens of bottles of beer from the refrigerator, put them on the table and asked me only one question, “Is that enough?”

I looked at Jesse and my eyes suddenly turned red. Jesse didn’t say anything, but just opened his arms to me and said, “Hug?”

I was completely broken and I cried loudly in Jesse’s arms. I cried until my throat was broken. I cried until my whole body was shaking. I cried until I vomited in the toilet and I cried until I told Jesse.

“I want a divorce! I want a divorce! I want Camille to die!”

What was the end of love? It was the two people who used to be so close that they were willing to fight the world together, but now they were rivals who held blades and chopped each other to death. It was the truth that even roses would wither after they hoped to grow flowers of love in the grave of marriage.

I stayed at Jesse’s house for half a month. In half a month, I saw Dane update his status every day in WhatsApp and Camille’s shadow was in every WhatsApp status.

[There is a moon in the sky, but I have stars.]

The picture was Dane’s selfie and Camille’s back in the corner answering the phone in front of the floortoceiling window.

[Stars always shine and I will chase the light.]

The picture was the star ring on Dane’s hand, reflecting the halo under the light and a pair of slender and beautiful hands.

It was Camille’s.

[The stars bring me knowledge!]

The picture was a firstclass cabin.

It was a picture of Dane’s bright smile and her sleeping face beside him.

One thing after another. Seeing this, Jesse jumped on the spot. He pointed at Dane’s WhatsApp status and cursed, “Fuck this bitch! Camille is blind. She can’t see that this bitch has bad intentions? Even dogs can sense his bad intention!”

Jesse was furious. On the contrary, I seemed calm. I seemed to be almost out of the withdrawal period and I was even more calm when commenting on Jesse’s rage.

“Camille knows everything. She sees their relationship as something innocent.”

Jesse sat next to me. “Fuck! What’s she talking about innocence?”

“In Camille’s opinion, if the two of them didn’t sleep together, they are innocent. After all, she always believes that she didn’t cheat.”

Camille had always adhered to that bottom line. So, whenever I got angry, she always had that sentence: “There is nothing wrong between Dane and me. Your heart is filthy! Your heart sees everything as dirty!”

When I first heard it, I was speechless. Now, I was looking at these past events and I had let it go.

I reminded Jesse, “I’m gonna move out of that house.”

Camille and I were getting divorced. I was moving out of my home, so I had to go to the house to take away my things.

After all, my mother’s belongings were still there.

“Alright, I’ll help you out.”

Jesse followed me home and waited at my door. I looked at Dane’s WhatsApp status and knew that Camille was on a business trip again these days.

I thought Camille and I would not meet, but I didn’t expect that as soon as I opened the door, I smelled the fragrance of rice coming from the kitchen. When I approached, I saw Dane sitting at the dining table with his legs crossed and eating prawns.

Seeing me coming, Dane’s expression paused, like a child who had done something wrong and he immediately stood up and called me, “Charlie.”

I looked at Dane wearing my pajamas and slippers and then at Camille’s frozen smile as she brought out the dishes. Then, she asked me stiffly, “Have you eaten?”

I ignored Camille’s overtures and walked to the room. Suddenly, I froze. All the figurines I had neatly placed on the bedside were in disarray, even the bed was in a mess, the wardrobe had obviously been turned over and even the innermost safe was opened. My heart tightened and I subconsciously looked at the contents of the safe.

“Charlie…”

The contents of the safe were empty.

Dane, who was standing at the door, said in a weak voice that I could not hear a few words. “I’m sorry, Camille and I lost our luggage on the way back and Camille asked me to come here to get some clothes to put on first. I accidentally... opened the safe…”

My head buzzed and I turned my head and saw the jade fragments in Dane’s hand and my breathing stopped.

“I really didn’t mean it. Charlie, please!” Dane suddenly rushed toward me, then knelt down in front of me, grabbed my arm and cried.

“Please forgive me! I didn’t know this was your mother’s relic! I didn’t know. I really didn’t know!”

Dane grabbed my hand and shouted, “Hit me! Please! Hit me, so you will feel better!”

Dane was about to kowtow to me and when his head was about to hit the ground, a hand suddenly crossed between us.

Camille held his forehead with her hand, pulled up Dane, who was trembling with tears and looked at me calmly. “The dead cannot be resurrected and things are dead. There is no need to embarrass the living because of dead things. Dane already knows that he is wrong.”

Camille’s tone was flat, as if this matter was a very small matter and regarded me as the narrowminded person. She protected Dane in a protective manner and told me.

“Don’t continue to embarrass Dane. He is already burdened enough.”

I didn’t say a word and didn’t even express my opinion. As long as Dane pretended to be pitiful, it was all my fault.

From Dane stealing my watch, to Dane taking my painting, to Dane smashing my wedding photo with Camille, to Dane breaking into my home and my territory, to now, smashing the last thing my mother left me.

Camille was still asking me to forgive and be magnanimous. My head was constantly buzzing, my throat was tight and my fingertips were trembling, betraying my lack of calmness.

I turned my head and looked at Dane, who was still crying in Camille’s arms. I walked directly to Dane, grabbed his hair in front of Camille and slammed him against the wall. Dane screamed. I kicked his knee and he really knelt in front of me this time.

“You don’t kowtow like that.” I stepped on Dane’s knee with one foot, grabbed his head with one hand and slammed it heavily on the ground.

A violent collision sounded. I heard Dane scream, watched his forehead ooze blood and told him. “This is called kowtow and admit your mistakes!”

My eyes were red and I pulled Dane’s head to hit him again, but Camille grabbed my wrist. She stopped me forcefully and looked at me gloomily. “Let go!”

“Dream on!” I shouted.

Camille raised another hand to hold me down and then, she pried my fingers apart with force, watching my nails almost break. I frowned in pain, but she didn’t notice it at all and pried my hands apart bit by bit to warn me.

“Don’t go too far, Charlie!”

Too far, she said? I looked at Camille and laughed in anger. “Camille, the difference between humans and animals is that humans can think and distinguish right from wrong and humans have moral constraints, instead of relying on passion to decide to unconditionally protect! Since you have decided to protect Dane, okay!”

I didn’t care about my broken nails and watched the blood flow from my fingertips. While Camille was stunned, I endured the pain of my fingers and scratched Dane’s face fiercely.

My nails were completely broken. And Dane’s face that appeared in dozens of my WhatsApp status every day was destroyed together. Dane completely collapsed. I laughed out loud.

“What is this?!”

“This is retribution! I’ll tell you, Camille…” I looked at Camille’s incredulous expression and then at Dane, who was covering his face and screaming. I reminded her, “I’ve never been a good person! You should have known it long ago! Camille, you’ve completely pissed me off! I’ll tell you! If I don’t kill you, I will regret it my whole life!”