Mom, I Don't Want to Be Your Daughter Anymore

In my past life, Mom promised to buy me a house as my wedding gift.

I was ecstatic, convinced of her deep love for me.

She mentioned she was short on cash, so I hustled like there was no tomorrow, only to literally work myself to death at my desk.

As a ghost, I returned to check on my beloved Mom.

Shockingly, she and my brother's family were happily settling into a new home, financed by the payout from my death.

The picture of family bliss.

Once again, here I am, facing Mom asking for a hefty sum to get my brother a house for his wedding.

Without hesitation, I pulled out my phone.

Look, Mom, all these loan apps are at your fingertips. Which one catches your eye?

Money in your account in seconds, guaranteed!

"Jessie, you rolling with me or staying with your mom?"

I blinked, a stern face suddenly before me. It was Dad, Jim Rivers.

A sense of freefall hit me, not fully recovered from the shock.

Seconds ago, I was hovering above, witnessing Mom spend my last breath's compensation on a house.

They were living it up, a perfect little family.

"Would've thought that kid was worth something. Too bad she didn't kick it sooner; we could've been enjoying this big house for years."

"Pity, though, she was quite the moneymaker."

His feigned sympathy couldn't fool anyone.

"Mom, drop it. We're moving to a new place, no need to drag up bad vibes."

My brother barked at her, disgust plain on his face.

Mom merely smiled a calm, serene smile and held her peace.

The soft glow of the lamp cast a gentle light on her face, her smile tender, her gaze filled with love for her son and grandson.

Turns out, my mom could indeed be a wonderful mother.

The next thing I knew, I was back before the divorce.

"Jessie..."

"Dad, I'm sticking with you!"

I cut him off before he could finish, raising my voice a little too much.

"You little hellion, go with your dad then! Why are you yelling? Trying to make me deaf?"

Mom, Karen Davis, let out her sharp tirade, her voice cutting through the air.

"You're just a thankless viper! I raised you with blood, sweat, and tears, and this is how you repay me—siding with that nogood, cheating father of yours!"

I caught a glimpse of Mom, passionately making her case, her face twisting with the strain of her shouts.

If she wasn't gripping my brother so tightly, you might think she really wanted me with her.

"Fine, Mom, I'll stay with you," I replied with a firm smile, keeping my eyes on Karen.

The gravity of my words seemed to hit her hard; her eyes darted around, and she quickly shut up.

"Thought so," I smirked inwardly.

"What's with that smirk? You think that's how you talk to your mom?"

Karen snapped, her fury nearly palpable.

I closed my eyes, suppressing the storm within. I wouldn't let her see my resentment, my anger, or my disappointment.

She didn't deserve that.

Back then, Dad really wanted custody of me.

After all, I was the evercompliant child.

But that day, I lost it. I cried, threw fits, and even told him he was a nogood cheater, not deserving my custody.

It infuriated him enough to insist on taking my brother instead.

Mom grew to despise me too, blaming me for separating her from her beloved son.

She seemed to forget one thing, though.

"Your dad, that lowlife, probably has someone on the side. He hasn't been home in forever!"

That was her constant refrain in my ear.

I felt so sorry for her. She needed me, and I felt it was my duty to protect her.

Yet, I never stopped to ask why.

Why didn't she share these bitter feelings with my brother?

"Karen, enough with the nonsense. I've told you, I didn't cheat," Dad interrupted her tirade.

"If you want a divorce, so be it. Jessie chose me. You take the boy, sign the papers, and let's call it quits!"

Truth was, Jim Rivers had never strayed. After the divorce in my previous life, he'd returned to his job abroad and stayed single.

But driven by sheer paranoia, Mom kept badgering me, slowly turning me against Dad.

Eventually, I realized I was nothing more than her venting outlet.

And who needs to shower love on a venting outlet?

Jim swiftly signed the divorce papers and slid them across to Karen.

She muttered curses under her breath but finally loosened her grip on my brother, ready to sign her part.

"Really, Jessie? You go with Dad and expect me to struggle with Mom?"

My brother finally spoke up, his adolescent voice cracking.

"She's been nothing more than a maid for over a decade. What's she good for? Are we going to starve?"

"You're the selfish one, Jessie! You traitor!"

His bitter words matched the harshness of his tone.

Looking at Johnny Rivers, his face oily and pimpled with adolescence, his expression angry and twisted like what it was when they were in their new place in the past life, it was a stark contrast to any childish innocence.

The rebirth dizziness was still messing with me. I grabbed a cup of water from the table, hoping to settle my stomach.

"Johnny, can't you read? Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's a disease that needs curing."

"This divorce? Dad's walking away without a cent."

"You sure that's the smart choice, sticking with him?" I challenged, silencing Johnny immediately.

Johnny had always been greedy and selfcentered, all thanks to Karen's pampering.

Last time, she blew all her savings—and mine—on him just for a hint of affection.

No money? I bet he'd bolt faster than anyone.

"Oh, Johnny, Mom's got cash. It's all for you to spend. She'll make sure you're taken care of!" Karen cooed, her voice dripping with sycophancy.

"Whatever you need, honey, Mom's got you. Ignore your coldhearted sister."

She then whispered a few words into Johnny's ear.

His face shifted subtly, a glint of excitement appearing.

I knew all too well what Karen had promised.

After the divorce, Jim kept the house he'd bought before they were married. The rest of the savings went straight to Karen.

In my previous life, I was clueless about this deal.

Life postdivorce was a financial struggle.

Karen handed me just five bucks a day—enough for a plain plate of spaghetti with a side of pickles at the school cafe.

High school was tough, and I was still growing; a single bowl was never enough.

But I knew money was tight, so I kept my complaints to myself.

That was until I saw her dropping off lunch at my brother's school.

A box full of jumbo shrimp and a plate of beef that had been stewed till it fell apart.

Seeing that spread, teenage me almost drooled.

"Mom, what are you doing here? I thought you were at work?"

Karen's face flickered with embarrassment when she saw me.

"Mind your own beeswax, kiddo. Your brother needs his strength. You think cafeteria food's gonna make him tall?"

Karen got more defensive the more she spoke.

Then, patting my brother on the head, she said with a sigh, "I worry about him, you know. Ever since your dad dumped him at that boarding school, it's like he doesn't even care. That son of bitch!"

I glanced at my brother, not even out of middle school and already heavyset, then down at my own scrawny uniform.

No words came out...

I felt like a rat peeking out from the sewer, spying on someone else's happiness.

Mom, am I not your kid too?

Eventually, Karen and Jim got the divorce papers signed.

I ended up with Dad, and Johnny stayed with Mom.

She finally got what she'd always wanted—full custody of her son.

I wonder, without me there to sacrifice, will they still be happy?

Once the divorce was finalized, Jim was quick to head back to his overseas job.

He planned to send me to a boarding school, just like he had arranged for Johnny before.

But I refused.

When Grandma was still with us, she ran the household since Karen was mostly out playing cards, only coming home to eat.

When she won, she'd bring little toys for Johnny.

Picking him up, she'd coo, "Missed Mommy, sweetie?"

But when she lost, it was a different story.

I was her target, always finding some fault to yell about.

After blowing off steam, she'd lighten up and say, "Be good, Jessie. Mommy doesn't like it when you misbehave."

I was always good. I learned all the chores from Grandma, hoping it might make Karen love me a bit more.

By third grade, I was cooking full meals.

After Grandma passed, I took over all the chores.

So, looking after myself was no big deal.

Jim knew it too. He just gave me a bank card and set up a regular transfer.

That was enough. Love might be scarce, but at least I had money.

Today was the moving day for Karen and Johnny.

They were relocating to another building in the same complex.

I remember they lived there in my past life too.

Karen had chosen it just to be closer to her son.

If there were any open units in this building, she'd have moved right next door.

I watched the whole ordeal from my door, crunching on an apple.

Karen was sweating it out, hauling boxes in and out.

Meanwhile, Johnny was sprawled on the couch, yelling obscenities at his video game buddies.

Quite the scene.

Back then, I felt sorry for her and thought she was too frail to handle the move. I did all the heavy lifting, and even hurt my back in the process.

I tried to get some sympathy by playing the helpless girl.

"Kids don't have backs. Just rub where you said it hurts and be tough."

Her response was less than sympathetic.

"Your brother helped a lot and didn't complain once. Stop whining."

"Hurry up and finish moving. Clean up the house; your brother's had a long day. I'm taking him out for dinner."

Johnny had barely lifted a few hangers on top of the two boxes I was carrying.

Thinking back, I was a fool, blindly craving any bit of motherly love from Karen.

I never stopped to question whether she really loved me.

It took losing my life to snap out of it.

Thankfully, fate didn't give up on me and gave me a second shot. I must cherish it.

This time, I'm putting myself first.

"Jessie Rivers, you think you're hot stuff now, huh? Get over here and help your mom!"

"What, you need an invitation?" Karen snapped, clearly exhausted from moving and irritated by my calm demeanor.

I chucked the apple core in the trash and flashed her a bright, innocent smile.

"Oh, Mom, look at me, just standing around. How could I have been so thoughtless not to help you move stuff?"

"At least you've got some sense. Now grab this box and get moving, my arms are killing me."

Karen tried to pass the heavy load to me.

I dodged swiftly, stepping aside at the doorway and nudging the box back into her hands.

She nearly toppled over.

I couldn't suppress a snicker.

"Mom, I meant I shouldn't be standing here blocking your way. That was my bad."

"I ought to be sitting on that couch, gaming like Johnny!" I glanced over at Johnny lounging on the couch.

Looks like Mom's perfect little world isn't so cozy after all.

Karen, seething, followed my gaze.

Johnny, totally absorbed in his game, hadn't noticed any of the fuss.

"Johnny! What are you doing? Get over here and help with the boxes!"

I'd say, the facade of familial bliss was crumbling.

It was clear that someone else had been supporting it and holding it whole for them before.

Without someone else to carry the burden, Karen's maternal façade wasn't holding up.

"Karen, shut the hell up! Can't you see I'm gaming here?" Johnny retorted without missing a beat.

Frustrated, Karen turned to find another target for her ire—me.

Too bad, I was already grabbing my backpack and heading out to the library. All she caught was my back as I left.

"Jessie, you little bitch, you...!"

"Keep it down, lady, there are kids trying to sleep!" A neighbor intervened from across the hall.

Embarrassed, Karen fell silent.

She was just another bully, tough only toward me