Finally Lost You in The Crowd

For the four years of my secret relationship with Kenneth, he was merely my private English tutor to outsiders.

But when no one was around, he would pull me close again and again during lessons.

"Ugh… please be gentler…"

"If you like it, how could I be gentle?"

He never used protection, saying it wasn't intimate enough.

He said he only wanted to live with me, so he asked me to endure and try the antipregnancy injection for him.

Until the day I got pregnant, I overheard his teasing with his friends.

"Kevin, you used students as experimental subjects, aren't you afraid of killing someone?”

"This four years of tutoring has been worth it. When will we get to hear her moans?"

"In three days, Yara is coming back. I have to let her know I haven't been idle all these years."

"She's allergic to birth control pills and I couldn't bear for her to suffer through childbirth, so I tested it out in advance."

He sneered, "It's just a game, but it seems like my student has really become addicted."

A chill ran through my body.

It turned out that those voices tainted with desire were nothing more than a testing report for another woman.

I once again submitted my IELTS application to study abroad and pursue a Ph.D.

——

"Do you like this kind of teaching?" I bit my lip, not responding.

Kenneth leaned down and kissed my earlobe, but his movements below grew more forceful. "If you don't speak, it means you like it."

He dragged me deeper and deeper into desire.

After indulging, Kenneth held me softly and whispered, "Nyta, I really like you."

"Then why don't you make our relationship public?"

His smile froze for a moment, then he let out a light sigh.

"Fool, you're my student. If our relationship becomes public, it will harm your reputation. Please wait a little longer, okay?"

I nodded, but inside, a wave of disappointment surged.

I actually didn’t mind those things, but thinking that Kenneth was doing it for my own good, I just nodded.

I was willing to wait because I believed that he loved me.

Four years ago, I stood in front of the bulletin board, intently looking at the information about the IELTS exam.

Kenneth walked over and asked if I wanted to study abroad for my PhD.

He said he liked students with goals and it was at that moment that he offered to teach me.

The past four years with Kenneth had felt so natural. Everything changed so smoothly.

We went from teacher and student, to friends and then to lovers.

Every touch, every kiss from him was something I could never resist.

Now, I was about to graduate and according to the original plan, I was also about to go abroad.

I didn’t want to be apart from him, even if it was just a brief separation.

I made the decision to give up the IELTS exam, along with my dream of studying abroad, all for him.

The doorbell rang.

Kenneth had already left for school early and I rushed to the door to open it. It was a delivery man.

"Hello, this is a delivery for Mr. Kenneth."

I signed for the package, which turned out to be a beautiful jewelry box. Inside was a diamond necklace, worth a considerable amount.

But I had never been fond of wearing necklaces.

At that moment, my phone buzzed with a message from Kenneth.

[I'm going to the bar with the guys tonight. I won’t be back for dinner, don’t wait for me.]

I replied simpy. [Okay.]

Not wanting to stay in bed any longer, I got up to brush my teeth, but suddenly, I began gagging.

It was then that I remembered that my period had been missing for two months.

Kenneth had never taken protective measures, saying it wasn’t intimate enough.

He said he only wanted to share a world with me, so he asked me to try and endure the birth control shot for his sake.

But thinking that the shot might not be fully effective, I decided to take a pregnancy test.

When I saw two red lines, I was filled with immense joy.

I was afraid of a misunderstanding, so I hurried to the hospital to get a blood test.

The moment I confirmed that I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait to tell Kenneth.

I took a taxi to the bar he frequented, hoping to surprise him.

The owner recognized me and smiled, pointing to a private room in the corner. "Mr. Smith is over there with a few friends."

I approached the room, the door slightly ajar and familiar laughter and clinking glasses could be heard from inside.

I was about to push the door open, but when I heard my name, I stopped in my tracks.

Kevin, you used students as experimental subjects, aren't you afraid of killing someone?” a strange male voice teased.

"These four years of tutoring has been worth it. When will we get to hear your student’s moans?" another voice chimed in.

My heart almost stopped and cold sweat drenched my back.

Kenneth's voice rang out, colder and more mocking than I had ever heard. "In three days, Yara will be back. I have to let her know I haven't been idle these past four years. She's allergic to birth control pills and I couldn't bear for her to suffer through childbirth, so I tested it out in advance."

He sneered, his tone full of disdain. "It's just for fun, but it seems like my student has really become addicted."

I was frozen, my entire body cold.

It turned out that his breath, filled with passion, was nothing more than a test report for another woman.

I left the bar in a daze, tears blurring my vision.

Back home, I once again submitted my IELTS application.

Kenneth didn't come back that night. The next day, I went to the hospital alone.

Seeing me by myself, the doctor hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Didn't your family come with you?"

"He has something to do," I said, forcing a smile, my hand unconsciously resting on my abdomen.

"Doctor, I’d like to consult you about an abortion."

The doctor reviewed my test results, his brows furrowing deeper. "You've been using birth control shots for a long time?"

I nodded.

"Using birth control shots can lead to hormonal imbalances and in severe cases, it could affect your future fertility," the doctor said seriously, looking at me. "You’re nearly ten weeks along now and the fetus seems stable. Honestly, you’re lucky to have gotten pregnant this time. If you have a miscarriage now, you might never be able to conceive again."

At that moment, something within me stirred. Perhaps it was a maternal instinct and I made the decision to keep the child.

That evening, Kenneth finally returned. He personally cooked several dishes.

"Nyta, you've lost weight recently," he said, looking at me with concern.

I lowered my eyes. I no longer trusted such false tenderness.

But for the sake of the child, I didn’t want to cause any trouble before leaving.

"It’s just academic pressure," I answered softly.

A gentle smile returned to his face. "Nyta, you're the most outstanding student I've ever taught. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself."

With that, he moved closer to me, pressing me against the dining table.

"Or is it that I haven't taught you enough?"

As he spoke, he leaned down to kiss me, but I turned my head to avoid it.

"I'm not feeling well today," I said.

He stopped, looking at me with a complex expression, before finally letting out a soft sigh.

That night, I curled up on the other side of the bed, one hand gently resting on my abdomen.

"Don't be afraid, baby. Mommy will protect you."

When I got up, Kenneth was already gone.

On the bedside table was a note.

[I have something urgent and left early. There’s breakfast in the fridge, remember to eat.]

But I knew that today, the woman named Yara whom he had mentioned was back in the country.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a friend request. It was Yara.

Instinctively, I felt that this "Yara" was the Yara of Kenneth.

Sure enough, after accepting her friend request, I saw her pinned post.

The date was four years ago, the same year Kenneth and I had started our relationship.

The caption read: "Kenneth will forever wait for me to return to the country and will forever love me."

I saw Kenneth's reply: Forever.

It had been a week since Kenneth had last returned and I had also received my IELTS exam results.

I could finally leave.

I opened my phone and booked a flight for three days later.

Before leaving the country, I made plans to have a meal with my best friend and told her about my decision to go abroad.

However, at the restaurant, I unexpectedly ran into Kenneth and Yara.

They were intimately wrapped in each other’s arms, clearly looking like a couple.

My friend knew about my relationship with Kenneth and immediately tried to rush over. I stopped her and she read the look in my eyes.

She finally understood why I had decided to go abroad so suddenly.

She hugged me sympathetically.

But then, Kenneth suddenly saw me. He froze for a moment.

Yara looked up, her eyes meeting mine with an expression full of smugness.

I noticed the necklace around her neck. I should have known this was the gift he had given her.

The atmosphere at the table grew colder and I could feel the tension in the air.

Yara didn't give me a chance to refuse, pulling me to sit down beside them.

"Come on, sit down, don’t be shy," she said, her voice sweet, but her eyes were sharp and cold.

The meal was awkward and tasteless. Kenneth finally spoke up, "Nyta is my most outstanding student."

Yara chuckled lightly, her tone dripping with sarcasm, "That's impressive."

Halfway through the meal, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and Yara followed me out.

She cornered me in the restroom and sneered, "I’m guessing you learned more than just English from him, didn’t you?"

I chose to ignore her, not dignifying her words with a response.

But she didn’t let it go. "No matter what you’ve learned, he only loves me." she said, her smile twisting into something cruel.

"I've been studying abroad for the past few years and all this time, Kenneth has been waiting for me to come back and marry him."

"Look, this is a photo from last year when he flew to Luxford to celebrate my birthday."

In the photo, Kenneth was holding Yara's shoulder and the two of them were standing in front of the Tower Bridge in Luxford, smiling brightly. The date on the photo was exactly my birthday last year, the day he had told me he couldn't join me because of an academic conference.

Yara walked towards me and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"You think he really likes you? Don't be so naive. Do you know why he chose you? It was just because your silhouette in front of the school bulletin board resembled mine."

A cold shiver ran down my spine and my thoughts flew back to four years ago, the moment I first met Kenneth.

I stood in front of the bulletin board, focused on the IELTS exam information.

He walked over and asked me if I wanted to study abroad. It was then that he offered to teach me.

It turned out that I was just a substitute from the very beginning.

"Do you know why he always had you use the contraceptive injection?"

Yara continued to whisper in my ear, "Because I'm allergic to both birth control pills and condoms. He didn't want me to get pregnant, so he had you try the contraceptive injection instead. After all, who knows if there will be any side effects?"

At these words, my stomach suddenly twisted and a strong wave of nausea surged up my throat.

I couldn't hold it any longer and violently vomited.

Yet Yara continued, taking out her phone, opening the album and showing it to me.

"There's also this."

The photo showed me while I was asleep, some even from private moments after lovemaking.

"What is this?"

Yara sneered, "Every time he sleeps with you, he sends the photos to our friends’ group chat and lets everyone rate them."

A chill ran through me and my stomach twisted in pain, but I still forced myself to hold on.

Yara suddenly grabbed my hand, "Nyta, I really didn't mean to come back and compete with you for Kenneth."

When Kenneth saw us pulling at each other, he rushed over and shoved me away.

He carefully checked on Yara, then looked at me with a face full of anger.

"Nyta, what are you making a scene about?"

Before I could say anything, Yara spoke in a tone full of grievance, "Kenneth, I think I twisted my ankle."

Kenneth didn’t even look at me. He just picked up Yara and rushed out.

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my abdomen, much stronger than before and blood poured out from between my legs.

"Help, help..." I weakly called out, my consciousness starting to fade.

In my daze, I heard hurried footsteps and panicked voices.

"Nyta! Nyta!"

In my haze, I heard the doctor’s voice. "Placental abruption, massive bleeding, surgery immediately!"

As my consciousness slipped away, there was only one thought in my mind. My baby was gone.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital.

"You're awake?" My best friend's anxious voice came through.

I tried to move my body, but I felt a tearing pain in my lower abdomen, causing me to gasp in pain.

"Don't move."

She pressed down on my shoulder, "You lost a lot of blood and had surgery... the baby..."

She couldn't finish her sentence, but I already understood everything.

Tears silently slid down my face and I didn’t even have the strength to lift my hand to wipe them away.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked.

"You were unconscious for a whole day and night."

My best friend handed me a cup of water, "The doctor said your condition was critical. We almost couldn't save you. Why are you so silly? You were pregnant and didn’t even tell me."

I looked at my best friend and forced a smile, "I was going to tell you, but now... it's probably for the best. This child shouldn't have come in the first place. Where's my phone?"

My best friend hesitated for a moment, then took my phone out of the cabinet and handed it to me.

I unlocked the phone and there wasn’t a single message or call from Kenneth.

However, Yara had sent a bunch of photos, proudly showing off.

In the photos, Kenneth had his arm around her waist and the two of them were smiling brightly, looking like the happiest couple in the world.

The photos were posted yesterday.

While my life hung in the balance, he took Yara on a trip.

"I want to be discharged," I suddenly said.

My best friend looked at me in shock, "Are you crazy? Your physical condition doesn’t allow it! How can you not take better care of yourself?"

"I’ll take good care of myself." I tightly grasped her hand.

Seeing the determination in my eyes, my best friend sighed in resignation.

"At least stay for another day, so we can make sure there are no complications before you're discharged."

The next day, my best friend helped me complete the discharge paperwork.

The doctor repeatedly emphasized the precautions, especially stressing the importance of uterine recovery.

The doctor said seriously, "The endometrium is severely damaged, you must take care of yourself properly. You also need to prepare yourself mentally. It will be very difficult for you to get pregnant in the future."

I calmly accepted the news.

When I got home, I started packing my things.

IELTS score, admission letter, passport, flight ticket, everything was ready. Looking at the things that reminded me of the past with Kenneth in the house, I only felt disgusted.

I grabbed a trash bag and threw everything related to him into it.

In the end, our four years together amounted to nothing more than eight bags of trash.

Before I left, I sent Kenneth one last message. [Thank you for the 'guidance' over the past five years. I wish you and Yara a lifetime of happiness.]

I deleted all of his contact information and blocked him on social media.

As I stepped into the taxi heading to the airport, I felt an unprecedented sense of relief.

‘Goodbye, Kenneth. Goodbye, my once naive love.’