Bruised and Tainted: The Wife's Vengeance

BAGUIO City is where we got engaged. During Christmas day, Liam surprised my innocent face by kneeling down to me, showing a small box and a shining, shimmering small, silver diamond ring as if he was asking me to be the woman of his everyday life.

And I said yes.

"I don't find any reason to refuse you, honey," I cried as I watched him happily put the ring on my ring finger.

That day was the second to the best day of my life, next to my marriage day, of course. During our eight years of sharing love, it's fun to think that he finally asked me to get married.

"You don't know how much you make me happy." He cupped my face as his eyes were getting teary. "I won't let you regret accepting my proposal, Kris."

As he stood up to meet my face, I grabbed his neck and kissed his lips. Just for a moment of time, in return of showing how he made me delighted by his surprise. But because we both enjoyed the kiss that I led, I could feel his finger getting inside my blouse. He was now trying to unbutton my bralette when I stopped him.

I gently pushed him away from me, and then I smiled. "Not too soon, Liam. Let's just do it on our honeymoon, shall we?"

"Then, stop seducing your future husband. You know I can easily be attracted to you with just a simple kiss," he said with a laugh before putting his arms around me and we started to walk away from the place I thought we were just going to visit, yet it turned out to be the proposal venue Liam made.

I still can't get over it. Upon looking at my finger wearing that glamorous, exorbitant ring, I couldn't control myself smiling expansively. I still can't believe this is really happening right now. It's still beyond my belief that this scenario is happening over and over again only in my dreams.

If this was just a dream, I won't really wake up anymore.

AND the day of our wedding has come. People are looking so happy watching Liam and I exchange vows at each other. The decorations of the church scream extravagant and the wedding gown I'm wearing is a bit heavy but looks natural and elegant.

Everything seemed perfect on the day we were exchanging our promises with each other.

"To Kirsten Angeline Bargamento, I am pleased to accept you as my wife. There hasn't been a day since we started dating that I haven't thought about and dreamed of you being my wife. That's how much I love you, honey."

"The day I proposed to you, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack while waiting for your answer. I thought then that waiting for you for eight years is still not enough for you to be ready to be my wife."

"But as you said yes to me, I think I was the happiest man in the whole world that day. I'm on top of the world the moment I heard from your mouth the word I wanted to hear."

"And as we stand here, in front of the creator of the world, I promise with all my heart that I will take care of you and love you until my heart is not tired of beating, and until my lungs are not tired of breathing."

"You're now my everything, Kirsten. It's just you and a dozen of our children that you promised me you'd give me," he muttered in between laughs. "I promise you a good life, a healthy living and a happy family, Kris. I don't want to promise you a nice house, a nice car, or nice bags and clothes. All those material things are nothing but bring people short term happiness."

"What I wanted to promise is to give you the life that you deserve. In return for loving me, I will always love you until my last breath. I will love you even after life, honey." He smiled at me as I noticed his hold becoming tight.

"Together we will fight every tomorrow that comes. And I promise you that I will never hurt you… I will never make you cry. A woman like you should only shed tears of joy, not sadness. I will water you with only happiness, so you will grow to be a wildest flower."

And as our vows finished coming out in our mouths, the father's permission to the groom to kiss his bride has been given.

THIS moment of us touching each other's lips are the best memories I always remember in my everyday's misery. At least with just a memory, I once had been given a chance to be happy and to enjoy the day of my wedding... before my almost heavensent angel husband became a barbaric devil that I could no longer recognize.

"What the hell is this, Kris?!" My husband came to me and lifted me up from my slump on the floor by pinching my cheeks. "Don't you know how much those Chinese herbs cost just to get you pregnant? So what? You're just going to waste it instead of taking it? Are you crazy?!"

"GGive up, Liam," I stammered. Another factor is that he squeezes my cheek so I can't speak properly. "NNo matter what you do, II can't really give you a child..." Tears rolled down my cheeks one after another.

It's a good thing that Liam pushed me away from him, somehow I can breathe easier.

"I have a lot of money. I'm ready to spend all my money just so you can give birth to a child. You just have to follow me." He came closer to me again so I backed away so scared, but he still managed to reach me and gently caressed my cheek. "Just please, honey. Don't do anything I don't like so I don't add more bruises to your body. Be a good wife to me, hmm?"

My face was so shaking when he kissed me on the cheek. And after saying his last words to me, he left the room. He locked me in this dark room again, which was about to look like a warehouse.

I gasped as I backed away from the table, I didn't know that there was a broken glass behind me. And that was our picture frame when Liam and I got married. It was now cracked... and so the love I had with him was damaged starting on the day he locked me in this place.

"He said he wouldn't hurt me... he wouldn't make me cry. But, what happened now? Where are his promises?"

I sat shaking while crying and took a look from the broken picture frame. I'm tired of living this fvcking life. Can I just die?

"Mommy, what happened to your face?" My attention was caught by Sarah noticing the wound on my cheek that my lush hair could barely hide.

"It's just a mosquito bite, Sarah. Don't pay attention to it." I signaled her to return to eating and just don't bother herself worrying about my face.

At her young age, she also cannot understand what I am going through at the hands of her daddy. I’d rather choose to make this a secret from Sarah. I think it’s better that way. I'm afraid of tearing down our family that I have almost died to save.

"Get up now, Sarah. You're going to be late for school," there was authority in the tone of Liam's voice that drove my daughter quickly to stand up from her seat. He then looked at me. "I'll tell you, Kris. Never leave the house. Understood?" And as if I have another option other than nodding my head as a sign of agreement.

I have been released from my imprisonment in a dark room... yet, still I'm a prisoner of my own house. Liam's job is at a hospital and working as the head doctor is good and smooth. He earns more than enough so he doesn't let me work anymore.

To act as his wife, I must stay in our house all day long... to be imprisoned here in my entire life... without even experiencing traveling outside.

"Should I be happy that I'm not locked in the room anymore?" I asked Mother Minda, who acted as my mother in the huge mansion where I lived. "Or, I must be sad because I just got out of that room, but can't get out of this house?"

She stopped putting away the plates, and on the vacant seat which she's able to face me, she sat. "If you are no longer happy with Liam, you can end your marriage with him. Options are always available for you, you might just have to consider picking them when you think you really need it. If you are tired of him keeping you locked up here at home, why would you choose to stay with him when there are other men out there who can treat you right that your husband couldn’t give you."

I bowed with sadness. "I can't leave Sarah here. I'm sure Sarah won't be doing well here when I decided to be separated with Liam. That's why even though it hurts and I'm struggling, I didn't file for divorce."

"Even though Sarah is not my real daughter, I love her very much, Mother Minda. Even though she didn't come from my womb, I still loved her like my own flesh and blood. And the moment I leave this house without bringing her with me, I will put my daughter in danger."

"You can't blame Liam if his treatment of Sarah changes. We know he’s just being good to Sarah because you're here. But if you decide to leave, what other reason does Liam have to treat Sarah like a decent child when she’s not even his daughter, is it?"

She held my hand firmly, wearing her worrying eyes. "Make a decision that will be good for you and your daughter. Run away from him, Kris."

I wiggled my head constantly. "I couldn't do that. I didn't have any capacity to escape this house with her."

"It's like you don't know that pet of yours, mom. I think there are a hundred bodyguards watching me just to ensure that I don't leave the house. How do you think I could escape from those fvcking guards?" I just laugh as I keep wiggling my head.

Escaping this hell will never be possible. I have long accepted since my soul was tied to Liam that I will die right here in this place. A few cuts and bruises, maybe tomorrow I'll be able to sleep overnight… and then die.

"If only I had the power, dear… I would have helped you." She brushed my hair which made my body calm for a moment. "With just a flick of my finger, your skin is back to being smooth."

And that makes me sad even more. How I wish to turn back time…. and how I wish myself to become those famous runaway brides on the day of their wedding. If I were to be, I wouldn't be in this sad life now.

"It's funny when he says he won't ever make me feel regretful for accepting his proposal, and this happens..." Droplets of tears just got started streaming down my cheeks. "I once became the happiest woman in the world when the man I love kneeled down in front of me, asking me to be his bride. And with how fast the night changes... I'm probably the saddest woman in the whole world, regretting that I accepted him as my husband."

He promised to give me a good and happy life. Is this what he says is a good and happy life? This is hell. He literally brought me to hell!

"The only thing I can do for you is to pray that one day your life will be in order."

"But remember that only you have the ability to draw your own destiny, Kris. If you want to get out of the hellish life that Liam has given you, you must act."

Mother Minda gave me a small smile before she continued to put away the dishes on the sink. And I was like... Oh? This is the choice I make. It's only natural that I have to face the consequences even though I didn't expect it to be as bad as the consequences I did when I said yes to Liam.

"Why did I see all the Chinese herbs I just bought in the trash?"

I was busy reading a book in our room when the door opened, and Liam's blank face appeared to me with the lab coat he was just undressing on his arm. His face that used to always smile whenever I was with him and the excitement on his face when we're traveling together, since we became a couple, I haven't seen that again.

"Those are expired, honey"

I gasped as he tossed his lab coat on the bed. "Are you trying to single me out, Kris? I just bought those, how can they expire so soon? I'm not stupid enough to buy herbal meds that are bad for your condition to take!"

And at this time, my heart started pounding very hard upon hearing his voice becoming loud and strong.

"I'm sorry"

My appropriate apology hung in the air again when he rudely snapped my face using the back of his palm. Another bruise was awarded to my face because of the bravery I did.

I deserve it.

"How hard is this thing I’m asking you to do, huh?!" He strangled me and presented my innocent face to his demonic eyes. "Just drink that to get pregnant, Kris! What's so hard to do there?!"

"II don't want to." My shaking hands grabbed his hand that was strangling my neck, and using my remaining strength I tried to remove his hand from strangling me.

"You're just giving me more reason to hurt you!" He pushed me hard and just as my back hit the side table, the flower vase fell on my head. "I'm looking for a way, Kris, to get you pregnant. I'm doing everything so that at least one child from the two of us can be born. All I’m asking for you is just to cooperate! Is that too much to ask?!”

I felt blood dripping from my head where the vase broke. Even though it hurt with a little pain, I didn't mind it for this time. I think I need to explain my side to Liam.

"If you are not tired of hoping that we will have a child, I hope you will think of me as well. I don't want to hope for that to happen anymore because I have accepted for a long time that the only thing I can take care of is the child that did not come from my womb."

And maybe because I talked back to him, he immediately came to me and pulled me upright... and then using the back of his hand, he slapped me... falling back to the floor.

"Could you stop talking like that, Kris?! This doesn't make any sense! If you're so weakminded to give up immediately that we could make a child, definitely not the same as me!" I could see his feet starting to walk towards me, and my whole body starting to shiver.

"Honey…" He sat in front of me and brushed my messy hair from my face. Even though I was shaking, I tried to get away from his sinful hand, but he still can reach me through his hands. "Don't force me to hurt you anymore. I love you so much"

"You don't love me," I whispered. "A person who knows how to love doesn't know how to hurt. If what you are doing to me is still called love..." My eyes met his eyes with tears. "Why are you hurting me? You're choking me."

"I'm going to beg you, Liam. Stop insisting me to get pregnant. Sarah is enough"

"No." What I thought was his gentle face turned into a scary one. "My dad will never accept that child, Kris! He will never accept the child we just picked up from the orphanage as a grandchild! So, whether you like it or not, you have to get pregnant!" He took my hand and forcibly took me to the kitchen.

He poured the contents of the new Chinese herbs he took from the fridge into the glass and forced me to drink it, but I insisted not to open my mouth despite his insistence.

"You won't drink?" He squeezed my cheek hard and forced my mouth to open. "Drink it"

"Liam! What are you doing with Kris?!" Mother Minda suddenly came to the kitchen, so what Liam was planning to do with me was interrupted. "Dear! Do you still see what you are doing to your wife?!"

And Liam just stared at me the whole time processing his mind about what he has done to me. He was just stunned as he gradually moved away from me, and as if he's not aware that at this moment, he's starting to shed tears.

"Lock me in my study room, please."

Liam seemed to be out of his mind when Mother Minda led him to his study room. There, he sat on the long, black sofa as if he still wasn't coming back to his senses. And Mother Minda left the room, locking the door before she got back to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked me worriedly, but I seem to have adapted to my husband becoming stupor. "Wait a minute, I'll treat your wound."

"Mother Minda," I called her so she couldn't continue to leave. "Haven't he taken some treatments?"

"My kid doesn't have a mental illness, Kris. He doesn't need to take any medicine or undergo any treatments. He's fine," she answered with a smile before turning her back on me.

But, I'm not convinced. I've been married to him for almost a decade, and he's always like that. I guess it has become their routine that whenever Liam hurts me because he can't even control himself hurting me, Mother Minda will come to stop him. And then the next thing happened... she locked him in his study room just to make sure he couldn't get close to me and hurt me.

And then now... Nay Minda wanted me to believe that there's nothing wrong with my husband? That he is normal? No! He really needs to be treated. I need to know what his illness is... and this is the least I can do for him as his wife.

Because I'm tired of him hurting me almost every day every time he comes home from work. That whenever I did even a little mistake in his eyes, he would make it a big deal.

"Kris, don't think about anything else..." When Mother Minda returned with the first aid kit, she immediately sat in front of me to begin the treatment. "Don't think that your husband is not normal. You can't blame him if because he wants you to have a child, he suddenly becomes a different person in your eyes."

"And if you are thinking of leaving and breaking up with him just because you think he has a mental problem, you should always remember that God bound you to him with your love for each other."

I just laugh at the back of my mind. Earlier, she sounds like she's encouraging me to leave this house. And then... a sudden change of mind had happened. What kind of life did I really enter?

"The study room was locked again?" Sarah asked with a frown when she entered the house. She's back from school.

"It's not really a big matter, baby"

"Daddy is locked inside again, isn't he?" she asked innocently, that even if I wanted to explain the events to her, she really wouldn't understand how serious the matters are. "Daddy's not a bad guy! Let him out, mommy! He promised to help me with my homework today," she said with a sneer.

"I'll do it then." I showed her my fake smile before I brought my daughter inside her room. In that way, her attention will be diverted to the study room where her daddy is imprisoned.

I hope he'll never come out there. My life could've been peaceful if he's not around, anyway. My life would have been better if I refused his proposal to me back when his love for me was still visible in his eyes.

Can't imagine my 'I do. I want you to be my husband' turns out to be 'I don't want this fvcking life anymore!'

With Liam's request with regards of drinking those Chinese herbs in hopes that I could get pregnant, I did it against my will. If I let my stubbornness prevail again, I'm only bringing myself closer to danger. I'm human too... I still feel pain by Liam's hand and leg blows every time he loses his temper.

"Your Mama Imelda will come later, Kris," said Mother Minda from the kitchen while I was in the living room watching TV. From here, her voice reached its peak, adding that the two of us were the only ones at home since Sarah went to school and Liam went to the hospital early. "Didn't you promise her that the next time she comes here you will cook her karekare?"

"Well, until now I still haven't gotten the mixture right. I often put too much peanut butter. She might criticize my cooking again just in case," I answered indifferently while still focusing on what I was watching.

That happened last year. It was my birthday and when I promised my motherinlaw that I would cook her a delicious Paella, I agreed... she only criticized it because it tasted too salty. I wonder what kind of wife I am if just cooking simple food is very difficult for me to do. Such embarrassing insult I’ve received from her that night and I promised myself that I would never do it again.

Well, I don't really have any talent in cooking. I'll just waste my energy studying, besides I'm the one who hates oil, spoons and pans.

"You and Liam have been married for over a decade, dear," replied Mother Minda who looked like she was done washing the dishes. She went to the living room and sat on a singleseater sofa where she could clearly see my face. "It's not bad if you make efforts to reconcile with your motherinlaw."

"I won't expect her heart to soften towards me anymore." My attention shifted to Mother Minda and as much as I could, I tried to make the smile on my lips better. "From the day I forced them to adopt Sarah as their own grandchild, I know I hurt her too much. Despite my deep reason as to why I wanted to adopt Sarah is because I want to make our family whole and happy, I might say she doesn’t care about where I’m coming from. And from that moment, I knew she started her hate towards me.”

That's why mom can't accept Sarah as a granddaughter. She has always been against my plan to adopt a child from an orphanage. Fortunately, I forced Liam to agree... so because of Sarah, Liam and I's dream family became complete, and in fact he even wanted us to form a basketball team. However, that might be impossible because my womb don’t cooperate.

"You can't blame Madam Imelda if she feels bad for you. If you had just continued taking the herbs you are taking now, or agreed to surrogacy, maybe your relationship with your motherinlaw would have been better ."

"I can endure drinking herbs," I muttered in between laughs, "but surrogacy? A baby is not food to be placed on any woman's ovary. That is something I cannot do in the name of having our own child."

I took the remote from under my butt because I didn't realize that I was sitting on it. And then I turned off the TV before getting up from my relaxing seat.

"Don't even mention to Liam that I'm leaving today," I begged. "I just have to make sure that Liam has no signs of having a mental disorder."

Her face showed disapproval. "Why are you insisting that Liam has a mental problem? Didn't I already tell you"

"You can't blame me for suspecting him of having a mental disorder. You're not the one he's hurting, that's why you couldn't notice how his behavior changed from time to time."

"Mother Minda…" I came closer to her to touch her already rough palms. A forced smile curved my lips as I continued speaking, "I'm doing this to save our family and… our relationship. I'm his wife… and I'm responsible for taking care of his health. For now that his condition isn't that bad, if anything, then we can treat him.”

"Believe me or not… I really don't want to devastate our relationship… and our family. I love them both. I love Liam despite the way he hurt me. I have loved him as much as I loved him in the old days."

"My love for him remained despite him breaking his promises to me on the day I said 'yes' to his proposal... and on the day I said 'I do' to him on our wedding day."

"So, please… don't let Liam know that I left the house today. I just have to do this for his own sake. Please?"

And the good old woman did nothing but let me out. I have trust in her that she will not say anything to my husband about this. That's why I left the house early to meet my psychiatrist friend. I did not inform Mother Minda that the friend I was about to meet is a guy. For sure, she’ll never allow me to go out because she knows once Liam finds out I’m meeting a guy, whether he’s just my friend, I know my husband well. He can kill without mercy.

First of all, most of my friends are boys. So, Liam strictly forbids me to meet them. He makes even my friends jealous... and he's so suffocating. Even my contact details to them, Liam got rid of those. Phone numbers, and even my social media accounts. That was all deleted. Even creating a social media accounts, I don't have freedom.

That's how jealousy turned my husband to be the man I'm not expecting him to be.

"Carrying so much anger, it's like you're losing yourself. Is that so?"

I nodded. "And after he realizes he has abused me, he will suddenly asked Mother Minda to imprison him in his study room. As if he's stopping himself from harassing me."

"Uhm, Kris," Logan's terrified voice was all I heard. "This is the only thing I could advise you as of now..."

"What?"

"Dissociative Identity Disorder is very rare." I just remained silent, waiting for him to explain that disorder further. "And I think your husband seemed to be diagnosed with having this disorder. These people have many personalities... and maybe the abusive one is the other side of Liam."

"So, the best thing I could advise you is to live with Liam separately. You will not be safe if you are always with your husband, Kris. He should've been brought to a healthcare facility, so we can help him treat his disorder."

I clenched my trembling fist. Logan's suggestion was actually the one I should've done now. For Sarah and I's safety, the only thing that comes with my mind is to escape.

"Based on what I heard from you, one of the symptoms of DID is that he suddenly becomes a different person in front of you without any specific reason. It's because a person diagnosed with this kind of disorder tends to have over 100 alters in their personalities." Logan got his pen pointing to his temple, as if he's thinking something. "I need to see your husband by myself, Kris. It's not enough for me to know from you what he does or what happens to him day after day."

"I can see his symptoms, yes. But as a professional, I shouldn't diagnose a person having this kind of illness without checking him by myself."

"Looks like I'm going to have trouble with that part, Logan," I mumbled with honesty. "Even Mother Minda doesn't want to believe that my husband might have a mental disorder. And if I try to convince Liam to get checked up, I would just bait myself to get beaten by him again."

Liam's a health worker. And by attempting to tell him about my suspicions about his behavior I have noticed in him lately, he will surely be offended. After all, no one could ever accept the idea of ​​them... having mental disorderif ever my husband really has.

"You must find a way, Kirsten. The welfare of your husband, yourself and your child depends on this. I have to check him up by myself just to make sure the symptoms really are related to DID. Because if that's the case... you need to keep yourself and your child away from him. That's the best thing you can do," he added.

"But I'm his wife," I protested, not even bothering to wipe the tears that escaped from my eyes. "I promised him in church that in sickness and in health, I will always be by his side. Through thickness and thinness, I will remain his wife."

"I'm fvcking tired of getting beaten by him, actually. There's no place for the wound anymore on my body because he's filled all the space. And there isn't a night that he doesn't succeed in making me cry before bed. Over a decade of marriage, or over the ten years I have shared with him my life on one roof, he has never made me feel loved, treasured and protected."

"I am still Liam's wife. Sometimes I think of running away from the house or breaking up with him, but at the end of the day... I also suddenly realize that running away is not the answer to our current problem. Especially now that I know my husband needs me if ever his mental state is not okay. Instead of beating my hasty retreat from him, I should've stayed."

I closed my mouth to breathe a little while. "I will do my best to bring Liam to you. Even if it costs my life to suffer the hell out of him again, I will do just to bring him with you."

And I was about to leave his office when he spoke, "You deserve someone better, Kris. You can keep your promise to him. But, staying with a man who couldn't even love you from ten years of marriage is too much to sacrifice."

"Don't settle to be with a man who couldn't even treat you better, Kris."

I completely turned away from him but my legs stayed in place. "And my promise to him is to love him eternally. I promised to love him as long as my heart keeps beating, and as long as I'm still breathing. To the mountains and back, I shall love no one other than the man standing as my groom on our wedding day."

"It literally hurts to love him, but I will always be willing to endure the pain," my last words before leaving his office.

Here I am again, having problems waiting for the taxi going home. It's still early, Liam is definitely not at home yet. As for weekdays, he always comes home late at night, so I don't have to worry. And I didn't bother to bring a car with me since Mother Minda just helped me run away from home earlier. The bodyguards don't know that I left the house... and I'm still hoping I won't get caught.

"Kris!"

I turned around when I heard Logan's voice. He ran up to me and handed me the handkerchief that I had left in his office.

"You forgot"

"Why is my wife outside the house?" Logan didn't finish what he had to say when I saw my husband walking behind him, looking at Logan badly.

"Care to explain why you forbid me, wife?"

I was afraid to look away from Liam. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew that at this time, he was staring at me as well as Logan.

"I'm her friend"

"I'm not talking to you." Liam walked towards me as he held my wrist harshly. "You owe me an explanation."

Logan's eyes showed a lot of concern for me but I just signaled him not to interfere. Even against my will, I let Liam pulled me inside his car.

And from his hold, I could sense another war was about to happen. The fire inside him began to burn... and a minute from now, I will, again, metamorphose into ashes.

"Tell me why?" Liam's deep and terrifying voice enveloped my body as my body shivered so hard while sitting at the edge of the bed. "What's your reason for leaving the house without my consent? I didn't fail to remind you, didn't I? I told you not to go outside, Kris! Is that too much to ask?"

I want to answer him yes. I want to voice out my feelings and I want to show him that he is exaggerating by locking me up here inside the hell he used to call a palace before. But I ended up saying, "I'm sorry."

Even though I don't see any reason for me to apologize, to cut this conversation short, I apologized.

"I'm sorry for breaking your rules, Liam."

"It's okay." Even though I was looking at the floor, I could clearly see from the floor the fall of the lab coat he had just taken off. "But, please..." And I don't really like what's about to happen tonight.

Liam pushed my shoulder lightly just to lay my body down on the bed. "I don't want the same thing to happen again, hmm? You know what I don't like is when you’re breaking my rules. I hate seeing you with another man, you know that. I don't care if that bastard was your college friend. I still cannot afford seeing you with that guy. I’m jealous.”

He's now on my top, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. "I could sense that guy likes you. It's obvious in his eyes that you're his type, Kris. That’s what I hate the most, you know me. What’s my property should stay mine. I don’t share you with anybody…”

"Because you're mine, Kris."

Now that he finished unbuttoning the polo shirt he was wearing up to his chin, he took it off completely to reveal his broad and built masculine body to me. I couldn't erase the fact that Liam made his body more beautiful because of his routine every weekend that he goes to the gym.

"I only have you and your body." He finally owned my lips after saying those words.

And I was like... answering his kiss emotionless. A few months passed when we last had sex because Liam was also very busy at work. I won't deny that I also missed us doing something that a couple does. But in the past years and with my experience of marriage with him, I'm no longer enjoying having sex with Liam.

His lips slowly traveled to my neck. His kiss was so irresistible and at the same time, it felt warm. And when he was lifting my blouse up, it was my hands that stopped him. I immediately lifted my top and took it off. Showing my body to him while wearing only my brassiere, the shape of his grin increased and he suddenly buried his face in my chest. Ugh! That was too fast.

I bite my lips, unbuttoning the piece of clothes left in my upper part. When I felt his tongue in my nipple, I couldn't breathe and my eyes were left closed.

"You're so good at doing that," I moaned.

It's tickling that what he's doing is making my vagina also wet, without realizing it, one of my hands hastily took off my underwear to finger myself while Liam is just busy doing his business with my breasts. And it was damn satisfying.

"You're too fast, wife"

"Hold on."

I moved away from his face that was buried in my chest so that my eyes traveled to his pants. Shit. I've always wanted to feel that inside me. I'm getting impatient with how long Liam licks my nipple. I couldn't wait any longer!

"Enter me," I spoke as my eyes focused on his belt that I wanted to remove.

And his hands are now unraveling his sword. It's so slow that because I'm so bored, I help him take off his pants and undies, and I hold his dick. His dick that entered mine over several times.

"Coming in." At the same time, it finally entered my core.

Liam and I have done this many times... and I could say... he never gets tired of it. My vagina never gets tired of his bananas.

"Hmm..."

"Come on, don't be shy!"

I was just kidding him but Liam agreed. Ouch! My livid, livid body couldn't do anything but roll its eyes because of how satisfying I felt. It hurts but it's okay. He was riding me faster and faster until the pain I felt earlier when he hit me... was replaced by pleasure.

And he's fucking me with his hands still playing with my nipple. He licked my breast so deliciously that it shook one after the other because of the strength of his grind.

"The idea that I won't enjoy sharing temptations with you turned out to be just a piece of fiction," I whispered amidst my burning desire slowly eating my sanity.

"Kris..."

"Faster... Liam..."

"I'm about to explode..."

"No"

"I mean it." And in just a snap, his juice exploded inside me. It was hot and sticky, so he made sure to take the pet out. "Are you okay"

"Tired." I just lay on the bed and closed my eyes.

I didn't enjoy what we did, actually. Besides the fact that I was hooked... the idea that I made him fuck me because of me... longing for sex. I also have needs as a woman... and just now that was given to me again.

"I hope we can create something by this time," I heard him whisper.

I really hope so. Maybe Liam will come back to his senses when we have our own child.

Crazy as it may sound, I'm still hoping his condition will get better once a baby comes into our life. Maybe there is still a chance that he will be a good husband to me if that happens. Because Liam started to be a monster in my eyes right after we found out that I... have no capacity to carry a child.

A week of no good communication with Liam because of his tight schedule, and here he is... just freaking out to stop me from having coffee.

"No, Kirsten! Don't drink that!" Liam ran up to me to grab the coffee that Mother Minda just brought me here in the garden area.

"Are you also forbidding me to drink coffee?" I asked calmly. I don't want to fight with him now... I'm not ready to get my body hurt.

He violently grabbed the coffee cup and threw it on the grass. At the same time, I saw behind Liam that his two bodyguards were holding Mother Minda.

Liam was about to turn his back to me when I stopped him. "What's going on? Where are you taking Mother Minda?!"

"In the place where she belongs." To my surprise, he brought his face to me with a bad expression. "There is no problem with you, Kris. The doctor's diagnosis of your womb’s inability to get pregnant was not true."

"HHow? HHow did you say that? You're a doctor, Liam! Doctors can't make mistakes in diagnosing"

"That old woman confessed to me!" And his finger was pointing in Mother Minda's direction. "I caught her in action. She put some medicine in the coffee you were drinking. And I forced her to tell the truth."

Almost all parts of my body are shaking badly, and I still have the courage to speak. "WWhat?"

"She puts abortion pills in your coffee, Kris. Do you remember when you took a positive pregnancy test?"

I nodded. Of course, I remember that. It was one of the happiest days in my life when I found out I was pregnant.

"She mixed the abortion pills you took that day, so you bled so badly. And that's also why the doctor said that the child's attachment to your womb was not strong. It was really not the idea that you can’t carry a child..."

"Because that witch manipulates us."

I was just looking at that old woman who I treasured the most for the past years and served as my mother while living in this house. She's the one I always vented my anger on every time Liam would beat me like a ramshackle piece of toy.

"Mom..." I made my walk towards her direction with my eyes shedding tears for being betrayed by her. "I won't believe in him. You know how I hate him, hmm?" I only whispered just to make sure Liam won't have heard. "I won't believe you really did it unless you confessed. I know you can't do that"

"Forgive me, dear," and Mother Minda's answer broke my broken heart. "You will also understand my reason why I did that"

"Then, what's your reason?! Why don't you tell me now?" I felt Liam getting closer to me and he slightly pulled me away from Mother Minda. "I trusted you! I even considered you my mother because of how lighthearted I am towards you and how kind you are to me. Is that all just showing off?! You pretend to be nice to me but you're also one of those demons living in this hell?!"

"How could you do that?! Are you still human? Don't you even feel guilty for what you do? You know that Liam and I want to have children. We have suffered for a long time for a lie that I am the one with the problem so far we have no children!"

"Kris, come in. Get some rest"

"I hope you carry your sin to hell! You just killed my son, oh! You made me look like a useless wife to Liam because I couldn't give him a son!"

"And now... you're planning to kill my son again now that you know something happened to us? You're an old beast! I can't forgive you no matter what reason you have for doing this to us!"

"Bring her inside."

"No, Liam! I'm not done with that" My line was cut short by an injection calming myself down. My body suddenly went weak because one of Liam's bodyguards injected me with some pill... and afterwards, everything went black.

The worst effect of the medicine that was injected into me, I might say. It was late at night when I woke up from my deep sleep. And if it wasn't because of Sarah's loud and continuous sobs, I wouldn't wake up. I went downstairs to see the reason why she's crying, and...

"Mom!" I ran over to Sarah and helped her stand up from her kneeling in a basin full of legumes. "What do you think you're doing, mom? Why are you making my daughter kneel on the legume?"

"Not your business anymore."

She turned her back on me when this time, I couldn't control myself to raise my voice at her.

"She's my daughter. Of course she's part of my business!"

"She's not your flesh... nor my son's. I don't have a grandchild as stupid as that girl." Without wasting her time to face me, she replied and afterwards, she went to the second floor.

Even if I want to let myself cry because of her insult to Sarah, I know I shouldn't. I have to be strong for my daughter.

"I'm sorry, mommy..." Sarah pleaded with her tears streaming down her cheeks. "I did my best to get a perfect score in my exam today. I reviewed all night and tried to memorize all the terms I put in the notes."

"But... I still haven't perfected it. I still have two items that haven't been corrected. I'm sorry, mommy!" She cried and came to me and hugged me.

I never dreamed of raising my own child to be grade conscious. I don't want to pressure her in her studies and always instill in her brain that she is not allowed to get an imperfect score and grades of at least 95. Although Sarah is not my real daughter, I love her very much and I am proud of her as her mother. She didn't have to finish her school as the valedictorian of her batch just so I could be proud of her.

There is nothing wrong with her. Nothing is missing. The only thing wrong in her life was when she ended up in our family... in Liam's family who had very high expectations for her. That's why my daughter is having a hard time coping up with her grandma's huge expectations... that even if I disobey her to stay up at night with her school, she still continues.

"Get rest, baby. Get some sleep, okay?"

"But I have to study, mommy. I have an exam tomorrow. I have to make up for Grandma and also have good news to tell Daddy."

She struggled to get up from the bed and then she proceeded to her study table, she opened her notes and started reading. Although she's not feeling well because she's still moaning about the painful knee she just knelt on the legume, she still forced herself to study. And as her mother, it's annoying that I can't do anything to free Sarah from this kind of life. She's too young to suffer this kind of life. She should've enjoyed her youth, she didn't burn her eyebrows too early.

When I finally got out of the room, I was planning to talk with my motherinlaw, only to find that my stomach suddenly felt sick. I was feeling like vomiting. I ran into the bathroom here on the first floor and threw up.

"This kind of feeling was familiar..."

Even though I was nervous, I immediately went to my room and took my PT from there. I immediately entered the bathroom and then tested myself if my heart was beating right at this moment. I waited a few seconds and when I was sure I was ready to look at the pregnancy test... I took a look at it.

And I saw two lines.

"I..." I had tears in my mouth. "I'm ppregnant..."

This is my second time having butterflies in my stomach for receiving good news from heaven. I just hope this time... nothing bad happens. I can't afford to lose a child in my womb for the second time... for Pete's sake.

I held back my own excitement to tell Liam about the success of our sex last time. I would like to find a good time to surprise him with this great news. One more thing, he's been very busy these past few days, so for the meantime, I’d rather like him to focus on his job. Maybe telling my surprise to him can wait.

One of these days, I will be able to tell him about my pregnancy... but I think this time is not so good and so perfect to speak.

"Most of the time, you drink coffee in the morning partnered with ham and sausage," Liam remarked, pointing his finger to my plate currently having plain rice with veggies, and to my drink, I have hot milk. "You're not into healthy foods. What's your reason for making a change?"

"Do you have to always question all the changes you'll notice every time with me?"

"You're acting strange, Kris. That's why." My piercing gaze could not shake his preoccupation with food. "And some changes in your body and routines only result in only two things..." Now Liam was able to look at me. "You've prepared a bigger surprise... which of the two... if it's good news or bad news."

He finally gets up from his chair after chewing the last spoonful of rice on his plate, and quickly commands Sarah to follow him. He didn't even let my daughter finish eating, it was obvious from Sarah's face that she was still very sleepy.

"No, baby. You finish what you eat first. I will tell your dad to wait for you, okay?" I tried to convince her.

"I'm fine, mommy. I'll be late for school. Bye!" And she quickly kissed my cheek before she hurried out of the house.

Sarah just made me heave a long sigh for always being like that. She's always favoring her father to obey, then she just ignores me. Although she's not my daughter by blood, my love for her is pure. That's why I don't hold the child's decision as to why she is more afraid of her adoptive father than me.

Well, I was too kind for her to be scared of.

"Oh, Lucile? Liam was just leaving when you arrived. Too bad you haven't caught up with them yet."

"He's not the reason why I went here, girl," she said and without a word, she took the spoon I had just washed from my hand to use it to scoop our left caldereta dish. "Because I had a hunch about your GM last night... which for sure you only sent to me because I'm the only one in your phonebook because of my jealous brother." She still laughed after saying that... which is... true.

"Care to explain the content of this?" She raised her eyebrows and handed me her phone, which was the content of the text message I sent to her last night.

The content?

From: Kris

Stop with the crop top... someone is kickin’ inside my tummy, e. #gm #groupmessage #fblessed

"Besides the baby, do you know anything else that kicks in a woman's tummy?"

Maybe because of the content of my dialogue, Lucile's eyes immediately twitched… as much as her mouth twitched. "You're pregnant? Hey, Kris! Are you really pregnant?!"

I laughed and rolled my eyes at her. "Maybe it just depends on your understanding or belief."

"But… please keep this a secret between the two of us for the meantime," I begged after drying my hand on a clean rag. And by this time, I can now pay my full attention to Lucile. "Until now, I haven't told Liam about this. I want to surprise him and am currently finding the right time to tell this matter."

"So, please… don't tell him about this, hmm? Let me be the one to tell him we're having a baby, please?" I said after that.

"You're too obvious that you have trust issues with me, mars!" She put the spoon used in the sink with a thud, so that it caused an earsplitting noise. "Well, congratulations. I hope that this time, we will all have a chance to hear your baby cry and I can squeeze her sure fat cheeks."

And while she's fantasizing that moment Liam and I have always been dreaming of, I want to explode with joy. I have to wait another nine months for that to happen... and hopefully this time, there won't be any problems. Nine months is a long time to wait, but I'm always willing to wait as if the time I would have to waste waiting will result in a good thing to happen.

"And by the way..." She had some papers taken from her bag and handed them to me. "These are the papers of the maids who will apply to be here."

I opened them one by one and placed them in separate folders together with their biodata and some important papers. But what made me frown was that at the end, I saw some xeroxes of college diplomas.

"What's this for?" I showed Lucile the photocopy of the diplomas of the applicants. "As far as I can remember, we are not requiring them to finish a college degree just to apply for being a maid."

"But Liam required it." Her eyes rolled like a big tape. "He wants a college graduate to join your housekeeper, so that he can be sure that the one who will be hired is not an idiot. He may have been brought in because of your experience with that witch, Minda. Can you blame your husband for being strict? Hmm?"

"Besides, being a maid in this house equates to huge benefits. 30k a month as the salary of a maid? That's actually for professional wage, Kris!"

I wiggled beyond my belief. It's shocking that I can encounter this, but... yeah, I get that Liam wants to be careful from now on. But requiring our future employee to provide diplomas just to make my husband feel complacent that there would be no harm and violence will happen to us still not making me feel safe... actually.

"Anyway, when do you plan to leave?"

"Why are you so anxious to send me away? Don't you miss me?"

"Insane. If only you could live here with Liam and me..." I smirked as I started to see shining diamonds in her eyes. "Of course I won't allow it. Go to your house, don't make trouble here, tsk!"

"Why!" I literally made her jaw drop. "Maybe you want me to say"

"Come on. I'll take you outside and go home."

I kicked her out of our house because I knew she had told me what she went to.

"As much as I want you to stay here, I know it's not possible. I hope the next time you visit here, mom will allow you to stay overnight even if it's just one night."

Because the bitter truth is that... Liam's mother doesn't permit Lucile to stay at our house longer than an hour. Maybe sometimes... but only when there are special occasions. When it's just visits like that and Lucile just has something important to say, she must not exceed staying at our house for an hour.

"Maybe in our next life." She laughed and kissed me before finally getting into her parked car.

I waited for her to leave our place completely before I decided to go inside again.

As soon as I'm planning to walk inside after closing the gate, I suddenly heard a strange sound as if something was dropped in the mailbox. As I checked it, I received an email that almost fell out today... and it was a letter from Logan.

Because the only gadget I have as of now is a keypad phone whose only contents in the phonebook is Lucile's number, through these mails only was our communication. I also don't have Logan's number and even if I tried to ask him, I still couldn't reach him because I was so afraid that my husband would catch me and hurt me again... especially in my situation now that there is a baby I should protect.

Kris,

I'm writing this to ask you for an update about my request to you. May I know when you will bring me your husband, Kris? So that I can schedule an appointment, since during this month, I will also be busy with appointments and seminars that I have to attend.

Send me a letter, asap. I'll be waiting.

Logan

Oh, no. How could I do that now? To this day, my brain is still thinking about what excuse will work, so that I can get my husband to agree to see a psychiatrist. Or at least anyone, as long as they know something about mental health.

I want my husband's health to be fine... but how?