Bound by Love in Arranged Marriage

F A R A H

The room was a bit dark, the open windows being the only light reflecting the room, making the white ceiling visible. A dim light lamp laid on the left side of the bed, which made the room more composed.

“Sis Farah”

pulling the duvet to the brim of my eyes, I readjusted my sleeping position, completely ignoring my sister's call.

“Sis Farah... Aren't you going to work today, mom said you should come down for breakfast” She yelled again ya Allah.

Lunging my hands towards the nightstand, I managed to land my hands on my phone. peeling my eyes a little, I jerked up in shock seeing 7:30 on the mobile screen.

Subhanallah 7:30 I'm almost late for work.

“Coming” I shouted, not sure if she even heard me.

“Farah. I sent Yasmin to call you what took you so long?” Moms started as soon as she saw me coming down. Taking the seat facing her, I took a fresh plate and placed two slices of bread and prepared my tea.

“Mom I drifted off” I ushered back while munching on my breakfast, which in the end  I couldn't finish.  I kissed my mom's cheeks and Yasmin's

“Take care of yourself, Farah,” she said when I'm halfway through the door.

“Insha Allah mom, bye Yasmin”

“Bye sis”

I love my mom more than anything, . Our dad passed away when Yasmin was 2year old, our mom took care of us.  she's always there for us whenever we are in some situation. I love my family;

•••

I made my way towards my desk and bumping into my colleague.

“Morning precious” I greeted cheerfully placing my bag on my desk.

“Where have you been, the boss had been looking for you, I tried calling you, but you're not picking up,” she said, her face crinkled in worry. I have a feeling something is up.

“Sorry, my phone was in silent mode”  fishing out my phone from the bag, I  changed it back to ring mode.

“Go meet him, before he throws a tantrum,” she said moving back to her seat.

I know he will

my knuckled folded in a light fist, I  knocked on his office door with some files on my other hands,

“Come in” he deep voice reverberates through the hard wooden door. As usual, his face was croaked in a frown.

“Good morning sir” I greeted putting on a fake smile and placing the files besides the pile documents in front of him.

“What's good about the morning” he ushered back his attention still on whatever he's working on. He said nothing for like five minutes completely ignoring me.  I almost thought he forgot that I was still standing there, and my legs are killing me already.

“Call this number and schedule a meeting with him,” he said finally looking up. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

“Anything Sir?” I asked, taking the note from his outstretched hands.  He waved his hands dismissing me.

“Okay Sir, ” I muttered, getting out of his office, and closing the door with a slight thud. I hope he didn't hear it.

“I hope the boss didn't snap at you” precious asked. I just shrugged knowing how the boss is. sometimes I used to think that he's being forced to work.

After working for the day, feeling exhausted; packing my things, I bid precious goodbye and left not before making sure the boss doesn't need anything but warns me to always be at work on time.

It is not that I used to come late to work, it's just today.

•••

“Assalamu Alaikum” I muttered stepping my foot inside the house.

“Wa alaiki salaam” Yasmin answered, who was seated on the couch reading a book I assumed.

“Welcome back sis Farah” she spoke up side hugging me. I squatted myself beside her and plopped my leg on the center table.

“Where is mom?” I inquired, removing the coat off my body.

“She's in the kitchen”

I took five minutes of rest before strolling to my room, freshening up together with Wudhu, and conducted my Namaz.  ya Allah protect me and my family.

“What's the delicious you're cooking mom” Mom was in the kitchen as always, the kitchen is one of her comfort zones.

“Rice with vegetable sauce” a smile made it way out of my lips. Rice is one of my favorite food.

“Hmm... I can smell the aroma” taking the spoon nearest me, I  tasted it. A moan left my mouth Delicious. My mom's food is the best; you can never eat her food without wanting more.

“Okay go and wait on the dinning, food will be done in a few minutes,” she tells me stirring the food.

“Okay mom” I kissed her cheeks and walked back to the dining sitting close to Yasmin.

“How's school my little sister,” I asked,  pinching her chin on the accord, which results in her to wince in pain.

“Sis Farah must you pinch my chin” she held her chin,  “School is just fine”  and then she started telling me about her college, as it's her first day.

“Masha Allah Yasmin, papa will be proud of you, Keep it up” just then mom placed the food on the dinning.

“Let me serve” Yasmin jerked up taking the serving spoon from mom and served everyone. We prayed before eating Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving us food and shelter.

•••

Later when we're done eating, we sat down in the living room chatting and reminiscing our old memories. And suddenly the room echo with the sound of the telephone ringing, mom went for it, living us two with our talks.

“Assalamu Alaikum”  mom salamed, the next thing we heard is her yelling.

“Khadija is that you! It’s been a long time, how are you doing” she said in enthusiasm.

“Tomorrow? OK, Insha Allah, we will be expecting you, Allah Hafiz” and she hung up the smile not leaving her face.

“Girls, Aunt Khadija, and her husband are coming tomorrow" she announced merrily. Yasmin started jumping up and down,

“Insha Allah” I answered

F A R A H

Me and mom were in the kitchen preparing food for Aunt Khadija and her husband's visit; they called us that they will arrive within one hour as they are coming by plane. I washed the plates, dried them, and place them on the dining leaving mom to cook while Yasmin is in her room.

One hour passed by when we heard the doorbell; I made my way to the door and opened it, revealing beautiful aunt Khadija and her husband.

"Assalamu Alaikum aunt Khadija"

"Assalamu Alaikum uncle" I greeted them. Aunt Khadija pulled me in for a hug.

"How are you doing my daughter," she said with her radiant smile

"Alhamdulillah aunt" I lead them towards the living room where mom is standing waiting for their entrance. They immediately embrace each other. I strolled to the fridge and brought a cold drink for them.

"Assalamu Alaikum aunt Khadija" Yasmin greeted

"Wa alaiki salaam, wow is this Yasmin," aunt Khadija asked looking extremely surprised. Mom nodded.

"Masha Allah, she's all grown up, how are you, Yasmin?" She inquired

"I'm fine thank you"

•••

After lunch, we went back to our rooms leaving them to talk. I received an email from my boss telling me to be in the office tomorrow as early as possible. I rolled my eyes, it's not like I come late every day.

After what felt like hours, I started drifting to sleep when I felt Yasmin touching me.

"Sis Farah, mom said you should come down, they are leaving". I adjust my hijab and descend down together.

"Take care, my daughter, we will visit you guys again," aunt Khadija said embracing me in a hug.

"Insha Allah"

As they left mom informed me that she wants to talk to me, her expression was serious. Sitting down on the two sitter couch. I stared at her waiting for her to start talking.

"Farah I know you're an obedient girl, what I'm about to tell you is something that will change your life in a good way." I nodded my head in understanding hoping everything is fine.

"We were talking with Khadija earlier, when she suggests something that I have hundred perfect trust and agreed on, and I know you will also give me your consent. " she held both my hands, squeezing them a little.

"Tell me, Mom, Insha Allah if it's not against Islam, I will do it"

She let out a sharp breath and what she said next made me dumbfound. "They ask for your hand in marriage for their son" That was unexpected I felt lost of words

She squeezed my hands once again and continued "You know Farah, Khadija, and her husband are good people, I know they will take care of you and their son too, he's a good person, I told them I will talk to you first; I know you will be surprised but I want you to think about this. I will be happy to see my daughter getting married and that into a good family and someone we know, I'm not saying you should give me your answer now, just think about it. "

"Okay mom, I will think about it"

"Don't worry take your time"

Ya Allah, this decision I'm about to make will make both families happy. I hope I'm making the right choice.

Throughout that night, I constantly thought about what mom said, I even asked some advice from Yasmin, even though she doesn't know much about relationships.

I chuckle at my silly talks.its not like I also know about relationships. in fact, I've never been in one.

Maybe this will be your chance to find your true love.

Morning came and I made up my mind to give Mom my answer. I waited until we finished our breakfast first before talking.

"Mom I've thought about it, " I started. her eyes snapped to mine and she stopped her cleaning and gave me her full concentration.

"Okay?" she asked waiting for me to speak up.

"If this marriage is what will make both families happy then I will go for it. I know you will be proud to see your daughter getting married, so I accept this marriage" I said tight lip.

"Oh my dear, you've made the right decision, I'm so proud of you and I know your papa will also be proud of you. I will call Khadija and let her know" She pulled me in for a hug, and went away to give aunt Khadija a call.

Yasmin started jumping up and down hugging me. I have forgotten about her sitting there.

"Yee...my sister is getting married, I'm so happy for you sis Farah" she kissed my cheeks. Mom came back after a while with a smile plastered on her face.

"Farah, I've spoken to them, they are very happy about this news. Words can't express how happy I am right now. And Jawad is coming back next week so they are coming together Insha Allah" So that's his name. Jawad

"Your husband to be has a nice name; I know he's handsome just like his name. I can't wait to meet him" she said giggling. Okay, I also can't wait to meet my soon to be husband.

•••

"Good morning sir" I greeted in my most polite tone.

"Morning Miss Farah," he said looking to my direction. I pressed my lips in a thin line.

"Here are the files that need your signature sir" taking the files, he placed them on his desk.

"Go when I'm through I will let you know" he waved his hand dismissing me.

"Okay, Sir" I fake a smile and exited the room back to my desk and continue my work. I was in deep thought thinking about this marriage, which I'm having throughout the day, what if I didn't make the right choice. I was in so much thought that I didn't hear the telephone ringing, which brought me back from my reverie.

"Yes sir?" I spoke in a low voice.

"To my office" and he hung up. I dragged myself to his office. feeling tired by going back and forth to his office.

"Come in" he spoke in a harsh voice. The way he speaks tells me he's angry. Ya Allah protect me from this man's wrath.

•••

The boss left furiously, snapping at us numerous times. I went home after finishing my work. I greeted mom and Yasmin that are watching TV. I went straight to my room feeling exhausted I needed a hot shower. Not wasting any more time, I entered the bathroom and took a hot bath, perform wudhu, and prayed my missed prayers.

We ate dinner while watching an interesting movie. Yasmin had fallen asleep, leaving me and mom only.

"Mom let's leave this movie till tomorrow you must be sleepy," I said catching a glimpse of her eyes closing. I switched off the TV, woke up Yasmin and we went to our rooms.

F A R A H

The cool breeze cascaded through the streets making me increase my speed. As I reached home I closed the door behind me.

“Mom I'm back” Mom is in the kitchen preparing food as today Aunt, uncle and my soontobe husband are coming, to be honest, I'm nervous, I don't know what he will think of me. I kept the things I bought on the kitchen counter and help my mom prepare the food. We are almost done when Mom ushered me to go and start dressing up, as they will arrive anytime soon.

washing my hands, I went up to my room Yasmin will be coming back anytime from now, As if she read my thought she barged in I jumped back in surprise.

“Wow, Yasmin...I was just thinking about you and next time make sure you knock first please” I declared in a serious note.

“Done sis” she cracked a smile. “Sis you better start getting ready, you don't want to keep your husbandtobe waiting” she winked at me before I could reply her back, she closed the door and shouted 'I will be back'.

taking a warm shower, and wrapping my hair around with a small towel. I opened my wardrobe deciding on the clothe to wear, coming across a beautiful maroon Abaya. I smiled thinking of the day; our lives were filled with so much happiness back then. I made my hair in a tight bun, wanting to put on my veil when Yasmin came back with a full plate of chocolate balls.

“Masha Allah sis Farah, you look so takeaway” she sat down on the soft bed staring at me.

“You just need one thing”

“And what's that?” I asked raising my brows.

“Makeup” I stared at her wide eyes.

“What? No...You know I don't do makeup” I said shaking my head in negative.

“Come on sis just for today, besides don't you want to impress Jawad at first meeting”

“Please” she pleaded. If I don't agree with her she won't leave me alone.

“Okay just for today” I pressed my lips in a thin line.

Thirty minutes later and she's still turning my head from one position to another. “Are you done?” I asked feeling tired.

“Just give me a minute” she sprayed something on my face.

“What's that Yasmin?”

“Calm down sis, it's called setting spray. It is used after you're through with your makeup. A finishing touch to your makeup, okay done” she clapped her hands together. I watched myself in the mirror, Masha Allah. indeed I looked different.

“Sis Farah you look stunning, Jawad will fall head over heels for you”

I wish

“Thanks for the makeup” I smile at her.

“Let me check on mom before they arrive”

“Sis Farah!” I heard Yasmin calling my name, followed by a  knock on the door.

“Come in” she sat down chuckling

“What happened Yasmin, why are you shouting my name?”

“They're here, I saw Jawad he's so handsome, just wait till you meet him, I'm so happy” she squirms.

“Let's go mom said you should come down” I place my scarf gently on my head and held Yasmin's hands,  nervousness crept inside me.

Aunt Khadija and her husband were seated on the 3 sitter couch, while whom I assumed as Jawad is sitting on the 2 sitter, his head down pressing his on phone.

“Assalamu Alaikum aunt”

“Assalamu Alaikum uncle” I greeted them.

“Wa Alaikum Salam my daughter you look beautiful, how are you” she held my hands.

“I'm fine aunt Thank you ”

We exchange greetings with uncle too. I sat down on the one sitter chair. The urge to glance at him increases.  I lift up my head slowly and my eyes meet with a cold dark eyes, staring right back at me. I quickly averted my eyes looking elsewhere. feeling my heart beat just by his gaze.

We were sited at the dining eating while the families we're chatting. All the while I couldn't bring my eyes to look at jawad, he'sJawad quite too, until mom decided to break his silence.

“How's Netherland jawad?”

“Fine ma'am” he answered masha Allah he has a sweet voice.

“He's taking over the company” aunt khadija blurted out. What? Will he be my new boss?

Yasmin touched my arm and mouthed 'are you okay' it was then that I realised I didn't eat much.

“Sorry” I muttered without being noticed.

After eating the families gave us time to  to know more about each other. I lead us towards the direction of the balcony,   Jawad tailing  behind me. We sat down on a bench quite only the sound of birds chirping could be heard.

Nervousness is killing me and he's also not saying anything, he just kept looking at his watch. I decided to break the silence.

“Salam, I'm Farah” I croak a smile. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to say.

“I'm jawad” he said after a while, his voice coming out husky.

“You must have heard about me from your parents, so tell me about you” I don't know why my lip blurted it, but it is not a problem to know more about him.

Suddenly silence prevail in the background. my head was down so I couldn't tell what he's thinking. and his figure towering behind me wasn't helping either.

“Don't worry, you will get to know me when we get married” I was confused by his words but decided to get my mind off the unnecessary thinking of mine.

“If you don't have anything more  to say again, can we go inside?” wow do I sense rudeness in his tone.

•••

The family we're now seated in the living when we came back. Jawad sat down beside Uncle, while I squatted close to Mom.

“So since everything is settled now, let's fix the wedding date” uncle Abdallah Started. My heart hammered in my chest, now that the wedding is about to be fix I'm feeling kind of insecurities. what if I made the wrong decision.  Mom and Aunt Khadija nodded their heads in agreement.

“Okay let's fix it in 3weeks time. What do you say Farah, your opinion is what mattered most ” he inquired. We have come this far, there is no need to drag anything more.

“Yes uncle” I answered in a low voice.  I could swear from the corner of my eyes I saw a hint of anger on Jawad face. But why being angry, he agreed to this reunion too.

“Masha Allah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala see us through this day”

“Ameen” everyone answered.

•••

As they are living we accompanied them to their car. Jawad is already in the car as he's the one driving. I saw aunt khadija talking to him before she trekked towards me.

“Here, give me your mobile number and don't worry about jawad he's just a little shy" She exclaimed offering me her radiant smile. We exchanged number and they left. I catch a glimpse of Jawad for the last time seeing his face glued to the road.

3weeks? In 3weeks time I will be married.

°°°

How was the chapter?

Do you want the next chapter to be in Jawad Pov? comment down your thoughts.

J A W A D

I can't believe I'm getting married and that to some lowclass girl. I just came back from Netherlands that finally I will be taking over father's business but instead I received unexpected news. Events of what happened flashed through my mind.

We were eating dinner when dad announced he wants to talk to me, I was a little bit excited because I knew he was going to talk about handing me the company, but what he said made my eyes widen in shock.

“You're getting married” I choked at my food, sipping a glass of water immediately.

“What? Dad getting married, I just came back from Netherlands”

“No son, you're 25, you're not getting younger you need to settle down and we've already discussed with her family, she's a nice girl, you will like her” I stared at my dad dumbstruck

“Dad I can't, I'm not ready to get married, I have a lot planned for myself. ” I blurted out. Seriously I'm not ready for any marriage, besides I want to marry someone I love.

“And what if I said you must,” dad said with a serious tone.

“Calm down son, we want what is best for you” mom chipped in, after keeping quiet for a while.

“But mom, I want to marry someone I love not someone you choose for me, I'm not a kid”

“You have no choice but to accept this marriage or forget about the company” dad threatened. “I know you want the company so badly”.

“Are you serious dad?” I asked utterly surprised at my dad's statement.

“Did I ever joke to you? Choose: you either get married to her or forget about the company” he fumed in anger and stormed out of the house.

I was beyond short of words, this is unexpected.  I  looked at mom for some explanation but found none.

“Look son just trust us, we won't choose what's bad for you. Think about this, what will they think if we tell them we won't go through with the marriage. Please do this for our sake” she patted my back and left leaving totally speechless

•••

I connect my fist with the chair beside me,  placing my head on my hands. I swear she's going to suffer, its all her fault this is happening, I have no choice I will have to accept this marriage proposal or I will lose the company I've been dreaming of.

I perform my wudhu and prayed my Namaz after I'm through I got getting ready as we are going to my socalled wifetobe house. Just the thought irritates me. wearing my navy blue kaftan, I  smoothed my black hair with my hands, descending downstairs to meet my parents already dressed waiting for me, my eyes flickered to dad but he didn't even glance at me. He's still angry. We made our way toward the car and drove off.

•••

It’s a simple modern house, with a black gate the walls painted in milk and white. I pressed the doorbell. A  younglooking girl opened the door.

“Assalamu alaikum aunt”

“Assalamu alaikum uncle” she greeted my parent with a smile on her face.

is she the girl? I find my mind asking.

The greetings were over, we were seated at the dining eating, all the families were chatting which I have no interest in. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Farah focused on one direction. It was her mom’s voice that brought me back from my thought.

“How's Netherland Jawad?” she asked

“Fine ma'am” I croaked a smile. a fake one at it.

As we're through with eating, the families are now in the living room discussing.  giving us space to talk to know more about each other. Farah is leading us outside and I'm walking behind her. We sat on one of the benches outside, no one speaks a word. I bet she's nervous. What she said almost made me laugh but I held it in.

“Salam I'm Farah” she started. So she thinks I don't know her name.

“I'm Jawad” I spoke back without showing any emotion.

“You must have heard about me from your parent, so tell something about you” she bites his bottom lips this girl is playing with fire, she wants to know me.

“Don't worry, you will get to know me when we get married” I glanced at my watch we've spent some time already.

“If you don't have anything to say can we go inside” I stood up. It’s better if I show her a little side of me so that she won't give her hopes high. She bites her bottoms lips again, which I think she did ever since we came to the balcony.

We went back inside taking my seat in the same place I sat when we came beside Dad and she sat beside her Mom and Dad starting speaking.

“Since everything is settled now, let fix the date for the wedding” everyone nodded.

“Okay let's fix it in the next 3weeks, are you okay with it Farah” I wish she could say no but no I'm wrong, that isn't happening. we've already agreed on no turning back now.

“Yes, uncle” I felt angry now I'm going to marry this girl in the next 3weeks ya Allah.

“Masha Allah may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala see us through” dad prayed

“Ameen” everyone answered.

•••

We were leaving to our house after everything is being discussed. I unlocked the car for dad and entered the driver's seat waiting for mom to finish her talk with Farah's mom, she approaches me with a frown on her face.

“Jawad why are you behaving like this” she exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips

“What did I do mom” I muttered, I really don't have the strength to argue now, after going through a lot today.

“We are leaving and you didn't even give Farah your phone number, even if you don't like her you shouldn't disrespect her like this. Give me your phone” my mom likes nagging if she wants something she will do anything to get it. So as you my inner voice spoke.

I gave her my phone and she went away with it towards Farah. I hissed in anger without dad noticing wallah I will make her suffer, she's going to regret getting married to me.

F A R A H

It’s almost a week now since my encounter with Jawad I didn't hear from him, his mom used to call mom so we get in touch

Preparation for the wedding is taking place at both houses. Mom had been busy with the preparation and Yasmin is also preparing for her exam. I'm sitting on my desk working on my laptop when precious tap me on the shoulder.

“Have you heard about the news?” she whispered looking around the surrounding.

“What news?” I asked furrowing my brows.

“We're getting a new boss” she chuckled as if it's something to be excited about.

“Oh that's good” I fake a smile. My boss and also my husband to be.

“I hope he's not like the previous boss” she spat. he's far more like the previous one.

Just when we were in the middle of our talk a man walked pass us, dressed in a suit, his hands stuffed in his pocket, my gaze wandered to his face, he has light brown eyes, with a beard, he has a curl black hair. That person is none other than Jawad. I won't lie, the guy is indeed handsome.  I was busy admiring his face I didn't notice precious calling my name

“Oh Farah, I've been calling you since what are you thinking about”  “You better start walking to his office” she pointed to the office door.

“Now?” I asked

“What do you mean, you're still the secretary, you better hurry up” she pushed me toward the door.  I almost tripped.

“Come in” his voice spoke. I entered closing the door behind me; I felt my heart speeding up.

“Good morning sir, here's your schedule” I pressed my lips in a thin line. The moment our eyes met, I felt uneasy.

“Tell the rest of the staff to gather at the conference room, I will be there in thirty minutes.” He spoke without even sparing me a glance.

“Okay sir” I was about to leave when he spoke again.

“And I need a hot coffee, make it with little sugar” I close my eyes to calm myself. I walked out of his office and close the door behind me. He acts as if he doesn’t know me. Ya Allah!  announcing to everybody about the meeting, I made the hot coffee for boss Jawad.

“Here is your coffee sir” taking the cup to his lips, he took a sip and his expression changed immediately.

“What's this? I clearly told you little sugar, but you put in too much sugar” he shouted gritting his teeth.

“Sorry sir, I will make another one”

“Better, I give you 5mins to bring me my coffee” with that he shot me an angry look and dismiss me. I made another coffee making sure the sugar is not too much.

“Here is the coffee sir” placing it on his desk,

“Is everyone in the conference room?” he inquired glancing at his watch.

“Yes sir”

“As you have been informed, I will be taking over the position of the previous President, so there would be few changes” everyone's attention is on now on him.

“I want everyone to be serious with his/her work, if I find some lazy person misbehaving I won't hesitate to fire him/her” he explained the frown not leaving his hard face.

“I have already checked your profiles and I will assign you according to your background. As for the secretary, you will stay in your position, before I find a new secretary. I  hope you all understood”

“I will take that as a yes, so that's the end of today's meeting” he added getting silence in return. He left leaving everyone in total silence. I followed behind him, upon opening the door,  he's nowhere to be found again and his next meeting is in 1hour. I'm exhausted from going in and out of his office, so I dialed his office number.

“Hello, Sir you have a meeting with Mr. Anthony in one hour” before I could say another word he hung up.   I don't know why he gets angry so easily, he wasn't like this when he came to our house what has changed. I hope our marriage is not the sole reason for his arrogance towards me.

•••

I performed my salah, after taking a warm shower to calm my nerves changing into my nighties. After going up and down with my boss today its feels like I've carried a load of books. I lay on my back when Yasmin entered chewing on something.

“Come here Yasmin, please massage my legs” I ushered. slumping down on the bed, she started massaging my legs.

“Sis Farah, did you carry a load of blocks at work,” she asked.

“Oh no...Yasmin, working as a secretary is very hard” I muttered, remembering how I used to work tirelessly.

“Oh right, Jawad called on your phone, that time you were in the bathroom” her statement surprised me. I sat up quickly.

“So what did you tell him?” I asked curiously.

“I told him you're sleeping; I don't want to tell him you're in the bathroom” she stated calmly.

“Thank you, Yasmin, you're the best sis in the world” I pinch her cheeks playfully resulting her to let out a hiss. she hates it when I pinch her cheeks.

“Here's your food, since you're tired no need to come down I've told mom already,” she said pushing herself off the bed.

“Goodnight sis”

“Goodnight Yasmin, thank you”

“Don't mention what sisters are for” Making sure she left, I took my phone and checked the call logs. He did call. What does he want? should I call back or not?

F A R A H

I was busy with my thought when I heard the ping on my phone. Which is a  message from Jawad.

Mom is picking you up tomorrow to shop for the wedding dress. The way he wrote the wedding dress with exclamation mark made me think otherwise.

I replied with an 'Okay' keeping my phone on the nightstand making sure it's in silent mode and lay on my bed, before I know it, I fell into a deep slumber.

•••

I was working on some files that needed to be printed out when I heard the landline phone ringing.

“Hello” I answered politely.

“Where are the files I asked you to bring” Jawad spoke in a low tone, the way he speaks tells me he's not in a good mood.

“I'm sorry sir, I will bring it right aw...” he didn't even let me finish and he hung up what's this supposed to mean. We are not even married but he's showing his true self. Ya Allah help me! I prayed.

I gathered the files from my desk drawer and quickly made my way to his office. knocking on it, I heard him say 'come in'. Before entering I mouthed hasbunallahu wa ni'imal wakil and breath in and out to keep me calm. I opened the door and entered.

“Here are the files sir,” I said in a low voice, keeping the files on his desk after I notice he didn't even glance at me. I was about to leave when he finally opened his mouth.

“Mom is coming by 2 O'Clock, you can leave early” he lifted his face and our eyes met. I quickly avert my gaze.

“Okay,” I answered. I left his office hurriedly closing the door behind me.

I don't know why Aunt Khadija did not call me herself.

I checked my phone and it is 1:00 o'clock I have one hour to get back home and get ready; I don't want to keep Aunt Khadija waiting.

As I reached home, I greeted my mom by kissing her in the cheeks.

“Farah what time is Aunt Khadija picking you up,” she asked. so she also knew.

“She's coming by 2:00 o'clock” I shouted, I was already halfway to my room.

I took a warm shower, it has become my habit whenever I came back from work the first thing I do is to take a shower. I perform my wudhu and prayed Zuhr.

wearing a polka dot blouse, I tied my hair in a bun and place on my black scarf. Taking my phone and purse, I rushed down. I checked the time 5 mins to 2 o'clock she will be here anytime now. I didn't finish closing my thoughts when the doorbell rang.

“It must be Khadija,” Mom said while peeling Apples.

“Yes, I will get the door” I walked toward the door; opening it revealing Aunt Khadija, wearing a lovely dress and with a floral scarf wrapped on her hair.

“Assalamu Alaikum Aunt Khadija”

“Wa alaiki Salam Farah” she embraces me in a hug, aunt Khadija is a kindhearted woman. The moment they saw each other with mom, their face lit up with happiness. They embraced each other in a hug. After chatting for a while about the wedding preparation we decided to leave.

“Okay Farah, let's get going the driver is waiting outside,” she said.

“Take care, I know if Yasmin comes back she will throw a tantrum that you didn't take her with you” Mom interjected. We both laugh.

Our car came to a halt in front of a big shop. Upon entering the shop, my mouth hung open seeing how the shop is filled with beautiful wedding dresses. A lady approached us.

“Assalamu Alaikum Mrs. Abdallah,” the lady said. she knows  Aunt, which means Aunt is a Customer here.

“Wa Alaikum Salam Fadila, we are here for the dresses”

“Okay Ma'am Follow me” the lady called Fadila said. She leads us to a room where VIP was written boldly on the top.

Fadila brought many dresses which I can't even count t

“Farah try these ones let's see which one will fit,” Aunt Khadija said.

I tried almost all the clothes, With Aunt not liking them. After much digging, we finally choose some.

“Let's choose this for the Walima” Aunt declared, eyeing the ash Abaya with emerald stones design at the front while the back has a small bow tie around the waist area.

“Masha Allah this will fit perfectly” Fadila chirped in.

“We will take those Fadila” aunt announced pointing at a pile of dresses of different designs laid on the Sofa.

After going around shopping at numerous shops we decided to feed our stomach, stopping at a restaurant.  Aunt said we should order take out, the moment we went back to the car I started digging in, I completely forgot about motherinlaw that is sitting beside me because I was very hungry food is life. You can't do without food.

Around 6:00 we finally drove back to my house the driver helped me with the bags, I bid aunt Khadija goodbye.

“Goodnight Farah extends my greeting to your Mom, I can't go in as it's getting late already”

“Insha Allah”

I entered the house spotting my mom sitting in the living room holding a cup h while Yasmin is sitting beside her.

“Mom I'm back” I announced

“Welcome back, Yasmin go and help your sister with the bags” the way Yasmin was frowning her face tells me she's angry we didn't take her along.

“I can't wait for the day sis Farah, In less than five days you will be married” it’s very easy to calm Yasmin I changed her mood from frowning to smiling I will surely miss my little sister. Just the thought of living my house made my body weak.

“Are you that eager to see me get married?” I asked after we kept the shopping bag aside.

“It's not like that, I'm just happy,” she explained. I could see her expression it's like she's holding back herself.

“You know, I'm not leaving you and Mom forever, we will still be getting in touch.” I reached for her hands, squeezing them.

“I know, I will surely miss you sis Farah” a lone tear fell from her eyes. knowing how my little sister is, she can't hold on for too long. pulling her In for a hug, I rub circle on her back.

“I will miss you too, and Mom too”

•••

F A R A H

I can't believe I'm getting married today, it feels so surreal. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, dressed in the Ash Abaya, my face decorated with makeup, with henna on my both hands. I touched the gold bangles on my hands Mom gave me that papa has been keeping it for my marriage. I look totally different. A small drop of tear roll down my cheeks I wish papa was alive to witness this day, to see his daughter getting married.

The door flung open revealing my Mom dressed in her beautiful purple Camisole gown. I wiped off the tear not wanting to spoil my mom's mood she's very happy about the marriage. She trekked towards me, with a smile on her face.

“My daughter you look beautiful, I know if your papa was still alive he will be happy too” the tears I've been holding escaped.

“No Farah, don't... It will ruin your makeup” mom said wiping off the tear with her palms. I can't help it.

“I will miss you” she added.

“I will miss you too Mom” just then Yasmin came in clearing her throat.

“Okay, enough with the crying, the guests are waiting for the bride,” Yasmin said happily. I suddenly felt nervous

“Let me go, you come together with Yasmin,” Mom said and she went out leaving us two.

“Sis Farah, you look so beautiful, if Jawad sees you he won't take his eyes off you” she chuckled if only what she said will be true.

We descended down, Yasmin holding me by my arm. My heart is suddenly beating faster. I heard the sound of people muttering 'Masha Allah' my head is down all through. I'm damn nervous. I sat beside Jawad who is looking very handsome, as I watch him my heart skip a bit because of the way he looks at me, I can't read the expression on his face.

“So let's start,” the imam said bringing us out of our trance.

After signing the marriage certificate the imam pronounced us husband and wife. Now I will live with Jawad for the rest of my life.

•••

“Come on Farah, don't act like a kid, you're now a married woman” I held her tightly. My makeup is now ruined with too much crying. I don't want to leave my Mom. Holding my face, she kissed my forehead.

“My baby don't cry, it's not like you're leaving us forever, in fact I know Khadija will take care of you like her daughter. So I want you to stop crying” mom said fake frowning, I know she's holding back her tears too, she's just pretending.

After Mother and daughter bonding, we drove off, now I'm left with Jawad. I broke into another sob remembering how I left my family. Before we left I saw a drop of tears on Mom's face I know she's holding it in. As for Yasmin, we cried in each other's arms not wanting to let go. I'm going to miss my family.

Throughout the drive, Jawad didn't even glance at my direction. I know he's also being forced but he should at least show some respect. I wiped away the tears it’s of no use now.

As we enter the massive mansion we were greeted with the presence of the family, Aunt Khadija embraces me in a motherly hug.

“You look beautiful Farah” aunt said touching my cheeks

“Thank you” I muttered, not having more strength in my body.

After passing through all the welcoming things from the Jawad family, I was taken to my room or should I say our room.

My eyes linger at the big king size bed now I will be sharing a room with Jawad and that the same bed, just me and him. The thought made a shiver ran down my spine.

I sat quietly on the bed contemplating on what to do next, since the time we came I didn't see Jawad again Allah knows where he went off to.

I was deep in my thought when I heard the sound of footsteps, I tried holding in my beating heart. He marched to the closet and took out some blanket.  What is he using the blanket for? My inner mind asked. He dropped it on the floor.

“You should sleep on the couch because I don't share my bed,” he said emotionless. What is this supposed to mean?  I was just about to speak when he cut me off.

“And before you ask any further question let me make something clear for you, this marriage is absolutely nothing to me, In fact, I agreed to this marriage because of my own reason, so don't give your hopes high about this marriage” he spat. my body went weak hearing his statement.

Marching to the closet again, he took out some clothes and head to the bathroom. He was about to enter then stopped.

“Oh and make sure this conversation stays between me and you, if you don't want to get yourself into trouble”  with that he entered the bathroom closing the doors.

My body went completely weak, I don't know what to think, a painful tear escapes me ya Allah what just happened. So this is what he meant at that time when he told me I will know him when we get married. All the smiles are fake.

It was supposed to be a night filled with happiness and peace but it seems I thought too highly about this marriage.  Ya Allah.

I don't know for how long I sat there, totally shocked. Many thoughts were running inside my mind. I turned at the bathroom door being opened. He was now dressed into a shirt and jeans, he didn't cast a single look in my direction. Slouching himself on the kingsized bed, which is too big for him, he switched off the light not minding that I'm in the room.

I managed to get myself off the couch, taking my Nighties, I trekked quietly to the bathroom, glancing at him through my left eyes. I don't know if he's really sleeping or pretending to.

I changed out of my clothes, and did wudhu and prayed two Raka'at. Ya Allah, whatever hardship I'm going to encounter in this marriage make it easier for me.

•••

F A R A H

I woke with a neck pain due to uncomfortable position I slept in. checking the time on my phone showing 7:00am  I miss fajr prayer.

I made my way towards the bathroom, glancing at the now empty bed.  Last night event ran through my mind. I felt  something warm dropping from  my eyes, I wiped it off not wanting to remember his words but  my mind keep recalling it.

This marriage means nothing to me

After spending almost fifteen minute sitting on one position, I managed to take my bathe. I felt much better; I prayed salatul fajr which I missed.

I went  down to greet my inlaws, aunt Khadija and uncle Abdallah are seated across each other while Jawad is seated in one of the chairs beside uncle. His face shows nothing just blank.

“Good morning aunt”

“Good morning Uncle” I greeted them trekking to the dinning.

“Morning Farah, you can call me Mom, get sited” she said.

I glance at jawad whose eyes is on me indicating me to act normal like he cares.

“Here” Aunt placed two toasted bread with scrambled egg on a clean plate, pushing it to my side.

We ate breakfast quietly, without much conversation. I took the plates to the kitchen, even though Aunt insist I  leave it the maids will take it but I still insist. The kitchen is very big; it’s even bigger than my room.

After helping the maid Ms Fatima, from what Aunt Khadija told me, that she had been working for them for so long, she doesn't have a child and her husband passed away 2years ago. The moment I met the woman i like her.

Washing my hands, i went up to our room, I'm not sure if i should call it our room after what Jawad confessed yesterday. He was seated on his bed as he claimed With his laptop, even though we've been given 1week off work but he's still working. I rolled my eyes walking to the closet taking out a simple dress,  I was just about to enter the bathroom when his voice resonate to my ear.

“Mom and dad are leaving today” he stated without looking up. I felt my heart radiate in my chest.

“Okay” I muttered

Closing the bathroom door behind me, I watched my reflection in the mirror Aunt and uncle are leaving which means we will be left alone in the house, Me and him.

As I changed out of my clothes into a new one, Jawad is nowhere to be seen. As if  Speaking of him, he popped  his head through the door making my heart skips a bit.

“Come down mom and dad are leaving” just one sentence and he closed the door leaving me to my thoughts.

After bidding them farewell I felt alone. I wished they stayed for a while but uncle has some work so they can't stay longer.

“Aunt Fatima let me help” I began readjusting my veil.

“No it's okay Farah, I'm almost through, the plates are not much.” she explained offering me a smile.

“I insist, besides I love working in the kitchen” a smile made it way out of my lips, remembering how I used to help mom during the weekends while Yasmin will be either watching movies or doing something else. I really miss them.

“Farah” I heard Aunt faint voice, getting me out of my trance.

“Yes Aunt, please let me” I pleaded. she let out a sigh.

“Okay since you insist, I will let you but just for today” I chuckle at her words. I know that isn't happening, I will help her in any possible way.

After I'm done washing the plates, placing them in their rightful place, i decided to explore around. Climbing upstair, I look left and right deciding which side to start and my mind lead me to the right side.

My mouth forms a thin line this will be my resting place. Not knowing that by entering this room I've gotten myself into trouble.

•••