About Last Night: Chasing The Beauty

"They're going to get married!"

I averted my gaze from the article I was reading. I let out a long sigh and bit my mouth. It's as if something is blocking my front and preventing me from breathing for a little while, and the knot in my throat hurts. Tears began to obscure my vision, and I couldn't stop them from falling on both of my cheeks.

It hurts. So much. My heart feels like it's being squeezed over and over.

I breathed hard, trying to settle myself entirely, but it didn't work. It's not working. Nothing's working because I'm still hurting.

'Gosh, Oleya Beautrin!'

I really should pull myself together! I'm not like this! I have no reason to cry.

I tried cheering myself up, thinking about some happy thoughts, but my cries only got louder. How can I think about happy thoughts when he's my happiness? Whenever I think about happy thoughts, I always find myself hurting too.

I'm hurt because I know... I know that I will just be a memory. It will never happen again. I will never be with him again. I will never be happy. And what hurts more is that I am no longer the person who makes him happy because someone else is doing it. Someone else is making him happy than I ever did before.

And knowing that he'll soon be married to her, to my twin sister, which breaks my heart even more.

I still love him. Maybe I'm crazy because I chose to still love the person who repeatedly trampled on me. The person who keeps breaking my heart. My supposedtobe future husband turned out to be an ex.

Claus Ezekiel Monteserio. We were happy, and then one day, I just chose to ruin up and mess up everything that we had. That's something I regret up to this day. I saved my career, but then, I lost him in exchange.

I have repeatedly regretted what I did. I approached him several times to apologize. I knelt down several times just so he would forgive me. I put myself down several times but his heart remained strong and cold enough not to forgive me.

He fell for someone else while I was still waiting for his forgiveness. How unlucky. Everything about me is bad news.

~

When I arrived at my condo unit, I immediately laid down on the mattress. I didn't change myself. I just lay down straight away because I feel like my whole being is very tired right now. I am mentally and physically tired.

Hopefully, I'll move on, hmm. Maybe Claus won't forgive me now. It will take more time I guess? I hope I can use what I found out today as motivation to finally accept and move on from him because that's really the destination of everyone who's broken. To live on and move forward.

I sighed before closing my eyes. And maybe I was so tired that day because of crying that I dozed off quickly.

I had just woken up when I heard a loud move coming from outside of my room.

I quickly got up and looked around. Everything's dim. I'm alone here in my unit, so I don't understand why I heard that weird sound from outside my room. Or am I just hallucinating?

I bit my lower mouth when my stomach grumbled. I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head. I'm hungry, that's why I'm hallucinating things, huh? Tch.

I decided to take a quick shower before getting dressed and leaving the room. I turned all the lights on, and immediately, my eyes went to the living room. I couldn't stop the loud scream that came out of my mouth when I saw a guy who was half lying on the sofa and half... not?

"CClaus?" I whispered. It was faint, but I felt like he heard it because he quickly opened his eyes and immediately looked at me.

Waves of electricity and butterflies in my stomach struck me when I met his familiar ashlike eyes.

I blinked a few times when the smile crawled to his mouth. It's like everything that we had came back because of what he did. Yes. His simple smile makes the memories of us together resurface.

He slowly stood up and walked towards me. I didn't move from where I was standing, waiting for him to get to me. My front pounded hard as if I had run a marathon. It seems like it will come out of my front because of too much force of beating.

I could barely breathe when he finally came in front of me. I almost closed my eyes to savor the moment of him being this close to me. And his perfume... no, that's not familiar to me. He changed his perfume? My heart hurt. Darn. I should've known.

"Ddarn." He laughed softly. He looks drunk. No. He is drunk. He is drunk, and he really came here?

"Beatriz? Baby?"

My shoulders fell when I heard it. I felt like a withered leaf when I heard what he said. He called me Beatriz. He mistook me for my twin sister. He thought I was the girl he loved?

I nodded bitterly. I should really stop

But my eyes immediately widened and almost watered because of what he did next.

"Love... I missed you..." he whispered while pecking at me in my mouth passionately. I remained standing like a statue, and my eyes were as wide as saucers as I watched the goodlooking face of the guy I loved so much with now eyes closed while pecking at the lady he hated so much.

I couldn't move. Part of me wanted to push him away, but one side of me wanted him to continue what he was doing.

"Darn. I missed you so much..." he whispered again as his peck continued to intoxicate me.

Wwhy is he doing this? Does he miss Beatriz? Didn't they see each other? And he thought that I was his fiancé, huh? He doesn't really know me.

And then everything hit me. I tried to push him because my tears were about to fall, and that's what I don't want him to see. To see me weak and pitiful.

"Darn it. Peck back! Please... Just this once."

There. Just his simple request, I cave in. I know it's wrong. I know what I did was so humiliating. But what can I do? I miss him too. I miss him too, even though I know I'm not the person he misses. Because it was my twin sister, it was Trixi Beatriz that he missed—his fiancé.

Once. Just this evening. I'll let myself have him for the last time. Maybe that's possible, right? Because I had him first? I was the first. I was the first love of this guy. This evening... I will cave in. I will give myself one last time. Because tomorrow, tomorrow he will return to his true love.

And we all know that it's not going to be me. Ever again.

Guilt

"What's wrong with you today, Beautrin? You are not your true self. You're so preoccupied that you can't even pose for a good photograph!" The director said irritatedly as I got close. Miya, my manager, and my friend immediately came to me and grabbed my arm.

I let out a sigh.

I'm aware of how much I've disappointed the entire team today. I'm disappointed in myself as well, but I can't seem to concentrate today. I can't seem to function properly, especially since the events from what happened that night are still replaying over and over again inside my head.

"Is it about your useless ex once more?" I winced and cast a sidelong glance at Miya. She truly does not have a filter in her mouth.

"Stop it. I'm just tired and restless. There's nothing serious going on." There's no way that I will tell her about what happened to Claus and me that night. There's no way. Because I already know her reaction. And it will turn out really bad.

"And pigs can fly. But fine, I'll believe you for now. But you should fix this, Trin. Fix the shoot or the two of us will really be finished off by that Jade." I nodded to Miya without looking at her.

She called the makeup artist again for me to have a retouch. While they were fixing my makeup and hair, my mind drifted into the other world again.

My mind drifted to what had happened that night. That unrighteous night.

My grip on my own hand tightened as I remembered what had happened. There's a part of me that's happy, but guilt is more dominant now. I can't believe that I did that.

Really? I stoop on that kind of level because I love Claus so much. I betrayed my twin sister just because I couldn't find myself slowly letting go of the guy who was once mine.

That was really a notsonice move. Something happened to us, for God's sake! And it didn't just happen once. He took me many times in the most possible yet impossible ways. That night was pure bliss, and only now did I finally realize how desperate I was.

I...took advantage of him being drunk, as he mistook me for my twin sister. I took advantage of his weakness, and I realized how bad I was for doing that.

I...was selfish. Well, still is. And I'm not proud of that. I betrayed my twin.

"Miss..." I opened my eyes due to a gentle shake on my shoulder.

I sighed. "Yes?"

"We're done now. They are calling you outside so the shoot can start again." I stiffly nodded.

I let out a loud sigh before I stood up. I looked at myself in the mirror. But I can't see anyone other than a lady who lowered herself for a guy who can't love her back anymore.

Fool. I am a fool but no one can blame me. No one.

After leaving the dressing room, I immediately went to the platform to start the shoot. It turned out fine. Just fine. That wasn't my best. And today, I wasn't my best self because I was freaking guilty about what I did the other night.

After the exhausting shoot, I immediately got dressed. I was rushing out of the building, and Miya thought I was in a hurry to meet someone. She wasn't able to stop me from getting into my own car, though.

I drove straight to my condo. I gave my key to the valet so he could park my car in my usual parking area. I ignored those who greeted me as I entered the building because my head was hurting so badly.

I just want to rest. I want to rest, hoping that my guilt will eventually fade.

After taking a shower and getting dressed, I immediately lay down on the mattress. I thought that I would be able to rest while on it. But my thoughts are drowning me even more.

Claus...

I curled myself in my blanket.

What happened to us?

We were fine. I thought we would never be apart again. With him, I felt like nothing would go wrong. I thought our life was a fairytale. I love him, and he loves me the same.

But...

But I made a mistake. I made a mistake that broke our relationship and us. I want to explain myself to him. But how can I? How can I do that when he's not even giving me a chance to talk to him without feeling disgusted at me every time that he sees me?

But if I explain to him. I doubt that he'll believe me. He will never hear and believe me. I know that. But I never stopped trying to reach for him, to win him over again. I never give up on him because even though I hate him, I still love him. My love for him is greater than the anger that I am feeling.

But he... He gave up on us. He dropped me like a hot potato while I was still trying my hardest to hold him.

He's over me. But I am not. And this time, I wish that I hadn't met him because I don't want myself to turn into someone that I am clearly not.

Loath

Days passed like a blur.

It's been weeks since something happened between Claus and me, and all I did was reminisce every bit of it like it just happened yesterday. I can't seem to forget it.

I badly want to talk to Claus. But...what if he doesn't remember, right? Because he was too drunk that night, and I doubt if he can remember every piece of what happened to us.

Shit!

I'm going crazy! I don't know what to do anymore, and I feel like I can't face my twin just the same, knowing that I had sex with her fiancee!

"Tomorrow will be a busy day, Trin. We have a tight schedule, so it's better if you rest first."

I sighed. "It's okay, Miya. I'm used to it."

"No. You're going to go home to your condo early and rest. I don't want you to be in the middle of the shoot and space out like a mad girl again. " I sighed again. I didn't complain anymore because I felt like I didn't have enough energy to fight with this girl. She's as hardheaded as me.

The service van brought me to my condo. I didn't bring my car because Miya didn't want to let me drive. She said that I should avoid driving for now, especially since I've been spacing out a lot these past few days.

I know that she feels it already. She could smell something wrong, but she never forced me to talk about it. And that's one of the reasons why I like her. She just waits until I feel comfortable spitting up the things that are bothering me.

When I arrived, I immediately got off the van after thanking the driver. I was glad that it wasn't a long drive at all.

I returned a small smile to those who greeted me as I entered. I can't seem to smile genuinely, especially when I'm thinking a lot.

I entered my condo's passcode before going inside.

The familiar feeling of 'home' hit me. Ever since I decided to live on my own, this has been the witness of my silent battles. I am alone, but this is what I call home. Because I never felt welcome in our house back then. I feel like I was a prisoner...with no chance to escape, and I can't help but be thankful that I already did it. I escaped with my help of myself.

My eyes slowly drifted to the living room.

I let out a gasp of surprise when I saw someone sitting on my single sofa. My heart thumped loudly inside as I made my way to him. He was just staring at me coldly. Like, I was nothing but a stranger in his eyes.

I felt bitter.

Stranger. Yes. That's what we are now.

"CClaus, it's a surprise to see you here." How did you know my passcode? I want to add, but I stopped myself. Of course, he has ways. He always has ways.

"Ndid you wait for too long? Uuhm, wwhat do you want? Coffee or—"

"Nothing." He spat out coldly, cutting my sentence off. I swallowed and smiled slightly at him. "Tell me, did something happen between us in this filthy place?" I blinked a few times and backed away slightly. He spat out those words like he was disgusted to be even here...or more like, disgusted of me.

I got even weaker.

"Answer me, btch!" I closed my eyes tightly when I heard his loud, angry shout. He stood up from his seat as if he was ready to attack me if I answered him wrongly.

Btch...

I laughed inwardly inside my head. I should get used to it. I should get used to that word because he's not the first person to call me that at all. But why is that? The pain is tripled when he's the one saying it.

"Answer me before I do anything to you!" I gasped for air. He will not think twice now about hurting me!

"Yyes...Ssomething happened between us." I tried to act bravely and spoke to him while staring into his ashgray eyes, but I couldn't handle it. All I can see is his eyes are pure disgust and anger towards me.

He violently kicked the coffee table in front. His eyes were coated with so much loath as he looked at me. "How did I end up here?! Did you drug me, huh?!" He shouted angrily and rushed to come in front of me. I screamed painfully when he held my collar.

He is really going to hurt me! And that fucking hurts me even more! The fact that he's willing to hurt me physically feels like trash.

"You took advantage of my drunken state! I loathe you more for doing this shit to me!" He screamed in my face. I couldn't do anything but look down while crying. I didn't even realize I was already crying until he lifted me up a bit, holding my collar like his dear life depended on it.

I tried to pry his hands away, but he was too strong. So, I just let him. I let him do the things that he wanted to do even though I knew that I didn't deserve it at all.

"You know I am in a relationship with your twin." He let go of me violently. With no strength enough for me to stand up, I collapsed on the floor.

I saw him kick my sofa angrily.

"If Beatriz finds out about this and our relationship will go down because of you, you will regret this, Beautrin. Just wrap yourself up with your own coffin now because I will not forgive you if Beatriz finds out!"

I cried even more. I cried not because of how he can physically hurt me for my twin, but because of the fact that it's really gone...

He really has no love left for me... Not even a little bit. I wished for a little...but I fell hard because he doesn't feel anything to me now. I am no one but a twin sister of his lover.

"I fcking loath you! Don't ever show your face to me ever again! Just please, Beautrin. Don't disturb Beatriz and me because no matter what happens...I will never come back to you."

Ring

"Your mother called," Miya showed me her phone. I raised my brow at her. "You're coming to the dinner later? With your family and the Monteserios?"

Montessori.

I shook my head. There's no way in hell that I will dine with that family.

"Tell her I'm busy." I coldly said. Miya doubtfully looked at me. I know she is confused as to why I declined the invitation.

"Are you sure?" She taunted with a grimace on her face. Clearly not sure of what I said. She knows that I am a slave to my own parents.

I sighed and nodded before lying on my bed. I took a break from work. I don't know how long it should be, but I know that this would really take longer. Or I can't even call this a break. I just want to rest.

"It's your Mom, Trin," Miya said while looking at me. I just raised my brow again. And if it's Mom? What should I do? Nothing. I don't want to face any of them because I don't want to be more stressed.

They will invite me for dinner and what? Embarrass me in front of everyone. They will roast me to death. They will definitely talk about how I am so different from my twin, how I am a huge disappointment to everyone, and such. I'm sick of listening to the same old song if they try to play it again, better not when I'm around.

"Why are you crying?!" Miya rushed to my side. She quickly inspected my whole body as if she was looking for something that hurt me to be crying like this.

Stupid.

My heart hurts. No one can see how shattered my heart is right now because I am too good at playing to pretend.

"Beautrin, what the fck?!" Miya shouted loudly as I began to sob while holding the hemn of her shirt tightly like my life depended on it.

"It hurts. It hurts so much, Miya..." I cried.

Miya softened her gaze and hugged me. She gently caressed my back. "Shush, where does it hurt? Who hurt our Trin, hmm?" She said softly as she continued stroking my hair.

"II want to go there..." I whispered painfully. I want to be with my family. I want to feel them, and I want to feel that they're on my side. It's just... It's just that I'm sick too. So sick of being with them... But I am sicker to assume that they'll be able to accept me as part of them.

"Then, why don't you go, hm?" Miya asked gently.

"Bbecause it hurts... Mmy heart hurts. Tthey hurt me... Mmy heart hurts whenever I see them, but I still want to be with them even though I'm hurting and breaking..." I sobbed. I heard Miya sigh while hugging me.

She knows how bad my relationship is with my family. She knows that for years, I was living not for myself but to make them proud. I pursued modeling because that is what my heart wants. My parents told Beatriz that she should follow and pursue what her heart desires. Beatriz became an engineer, and I became a model. The most paid and famous one in the country. But they...

They don't like my career...at all.

They weren't very supportive of me since then. But I never planted any jealousy and anger towards my twin. I was never angry at her. I love her even though...she doesn't love me as much as I do her.

My family wanted me to quit and pursue medicine. But I don't want that! That is not what my heart desires, so why...why will I follow that?

My whole life, I devoted it to nothing but making them proud. Make them feel that I choose the right one, the right path for myself. But every time we meet with the whole family, they never fail to make me feel like I don't belong at all. They always talk about how disappointed they were at what I've chosen myself to be into, but we never talked about how bad and biased they are when it comes to me.

Sometimes, I do think that maybe... Might I be adopted? Because why would they destroy me? Their own blood, right?

"Hush now, Trin. They don't deserve your tears, please... Hold on..." I heard the tremor in her voice as she spoke, so I cried even more.

"Beautrin...shall I bring Tammy here?" she asked gently, but I shook my head.

I have other plans for tonight. I want to forget everything for a while.

"Put your hands up in the air, everybody!!!"

I smirked when I saw Tamia dancing crazily on the dance floor. Along with her was Miya, who was constantly pulling Tamia towards our table, but the woman didn't want to.

I drank the glass of pineapple juice straight away.

All I want right now is to get drunk and completely forget everything for a while. I want to feel like I am living for myself and not for everyone else.

But how am I going to do that when I don't even feel like drinking something alcoholic? This is so frustrating! I want to get drunk, but I am stuck with this stupid pineapple juice!

I snorted bitterly.

I looked at the bottle of three vodkas. Two are lying down while the other is still standing and only half full.

I took my glass before pouring some with it. I took a picture of the bottle while my glass was in my hand.

Drunk in Love. I captioned it on my Instagram story. I browsed my feeds, and I stumbled upon my twin sister's social media post. It was posted an hour ago.

The first photo was of her hands...

My lips parted and swiped some more. My tears started to blur my sight but I still continued to look for the other photos she posted.

The second one shattered my heart.

It was a photo of her hands again, but with a ring on her ring finger.

Bind by God and destiny. Will stay forever 'til eternity. I'm engaged!

The caption on her post made me sob.

And the last one was a photo of her and...Claus. He was hugging her from the back, face buried in her neck while she was proudly showing her hand with a ring.

And before I know it...

I broke down again. God! How long will I have to endure? I am so tired. Please, let me rest.

Truth

Before the two, Tammy and Miya, could return to our table, I immediately fixed myself. I plastered my smile while they were approaching. The two were still glaring at each other, which made me laugh a little bit.

"My God, Tamia! She looks like a fool while dancing in front! Not even on the beat. It's embarrassing." Miya said with a frown on her face before sitting next to me.

"Shut up. You're trying your hard to pretend that you're demure, but it's obvious from your face that you're not. It's a bar, so I'm probably going to dance. And no one should care whether I'm on the beat or not." Tamia took a sip of the vodka she was holding. I just shook my head. A small smile on my lips is clear.

Seeing both of them makes me happy. They are one of my allies who truly love and care for me. They were there when I needed them the most. They are here, by my side, when the world's turning its back on me. They are the ones who stayed. And seeing them with me makes my heart warm.

I wasn't enough for my own family. They were never proud of me from the start. But these two, these two made me feel like I am enough. They made me feel like my existence was enough for someone to be proud of.

These two never doubted me. They never left me, even on my worst days. They supported me in everything. They both understand me in any way.

I'm still lucky, aren't I? So so lucky to have genuine friends like them.

The two were so drunk when we came home. I was the one who was driving while the two were bickering in the backseat. I just shook my head every time Tamia's voice rose in annoyance. The two really like cats and dogs whenever they fight. The reason why I don't really like to put them together is that they're so noisy.

I was thankful that I didn't have to call a guard to lift the two up. They are indeed drunk, but they know I can't carry them both, so they are trying their hardest to stay awake. I was just guiding them.

"What the hell! Step aside, Tammy! Your face makes me sick!"

"It makes you sick! Your face is just two, and mine's a 10!"

I smiled apologetically at the couple who were with us inside the elevator. They just nodded in understanding. They were watching the two, too, with nothing but amusement in their eyes.

When they got inside my condo, the two immediately stretched out on the sofa. Half of Miya's body was on the carpet, while her feet were placed on the sofa. I shook my head. I guess it was kinda a bad idea to bring them to a bar. If I had known, we could've just gotten drunk inside my unit, right?

I just entered the room and left the two in the living room. I took a bath before changing into my sleepwear. I was able to get an extra comforter and a thick blanket for the two before I got back inside my room.

I lay on the bed and stared at the blank ceiling above.

I thought I was fine. No. I can't be. I don't know how long I'll be able to handle it, especially with the news I just found out.

When I had Claus, I considered myself lucky. Why not? He is Saint Claus Monteserio. One of the youngest successful businessmen in the country. He is someone that every woman wants. He is an answered prayer for most, but I was too lucky to have him, huh?

We were fine. We were so fine together. Bbut...

I closed my eyes tightly. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall.

II was pregnant...in the middle of me rising to the top of modeling. I was on the perk of my modeling job. I can reach it, but I got pregnant. I was pregnant with our first child. But even so, I was so ready to give up everything just for the child inside my womb.

I was so ready to give up everything, including my career. Bbut my child gives up too.

I sobbed hard before caressing my tummy as if that would bring my child back.

I don't... I don't know how our child was lost! Or, I know it to myself, but I just refused to accept it.

It hurts...

I closed my eyes tightly before heaving a deep sigh. Memories of what happened the night when I knew I had lost my baby came rushing inside my head.

The only thing that I can remember is that... It is complete darkness. I was surrounded by darkness. I'm being forced to drink something I didn't know what kind of drink. It was liquid. It was water, but I tasted something was off in it. I don't want to drink...but they were... They were touching me!

They were touching me! They were laughing!

I clasped my mouth with both of my hands. I looked around my room. I wanted so badly to scream for help, but something was stopping me.

II didn't mean to swallow that. While I was struggling to escape from their hands, I was screaming, so they successfully put the water inside my mouth. I only drank a few...

And that's why I lost my...my baby.

I didn't mean to drink that! I know that it wasn't just normal water!

I never wanted to lose my child! I was mourning too! The next day, I woke up with a massive headache...inside a hospital. I was on her bed. The doctor told me that she had successfully removed the baby from my womb!

I was hysterical! I was angry! I didn't wish to abort my child! The doctor lied! The doctor was paid by someone! The doctor showed Claus the contract that I signed so I could abort the child when the truth is, I didn't sign anything! Everything was a fraud! But Claus believed it!

And that is when everything crumbles down.

I sobbed loudly while hugging myself. After a while, I heard the door to my room open carelessly before I felt the warm embrace of the two around me.

"Shush, everything will be fine... Hold on, Beautrin, please..."

Shoot

"I don't know what's happening to you anymore, Beautrin! Your twin wanted you to join us for dinner, but you keep on declining! Don't embarrass us with the Monteserios, Beautrin!"

Early in the morning and Mom's call immediately ruined my day.

"Get it right, Beautrin! We didn't raise you to be rude!" I bit my lower lip, slightly rolling my eyes heavenwards. Mom is really confident in saying that they didn't raise me to be rude when they weren't there when I was growing up in the first place. I raised myself! That's the right thing to say because, from the very beginning, they didn't give me any attention unless it was Beatriz.

"I'm busy." I coldly promise. I yawned before getting out of bed.

"Busy!" she scoffed on the other line. I can almost see how disgusted her looks are right now. "Busy with what?! With your stupid work?!"

Stupid. Wow. Easy for her to say that I've chosen something stupid. Am I really their child?

When I couldn't stand her scolding voice, I immediately hung up. I turned my phone off before walking inside the bathroom.

I don't care anymore if she says I'm rude. Oh well. I will just live up to that. That's what they think of me. Why not just go with the flow, right?

After I showered and got dressed, I called Miya and said that there was no need to pick me up there now. I'll drive myself to the building.

When I arrived, Miya immediately greeted me. I frowned when I saw the stress on her face as she approached me.

"You're late, Trin. It took you a long time to come. The other models are already here, and you're the only one who's being waited..."

I just winced and didn't speak.

All the staffs were in chaos after we reached the third floor where the shoot would take place. I couldn't escape the sight of the two men in black suits who had their backs turned to us.

Who are they?

Before I could even ask Miya, two gays immediately pulled me inside the dressing room.

"Double time!" I winced at Miya's cry. I don't know why she's too stressed out with this. I'm not really late. I arrived on time, and I didn't know that it was forbidden. And that I have to be ahead of schedule.

"Get ready, Trin. The two owners of the products that you will model with the others are here. I hope that you won't space out in the middle of posing because we are going to surely upset Jade."

Oh. That's why.

"The owner of the products is so handsome, Miss! Muscled, but they also look like they're looking for a muscled man!" the two gays giggled. I just shook my head and smiled.

When everything was done, we immediately went out and went to the platform. Jade was shouting. She was not really embarrassed by the two men behind her.

"You must be close to each other!" She shouted again. When her eyes caught me, she immediately widened her eyes at me.

"Get on the platform, Beautrin! What are you still waiting for?! A Christmas?!"

And since I feel like being a btch today, I talked back. "What if you try to wait for it instead? Let's see if you can."

"Beautrin..." Miya pinched my groin as she pushed me onto the platform.

"Miya! Take care of your rude friend!"

"I'm not a fiveyearold kid to be taken care of, Jade!"

"Oleya Beautrin!" Miya shouted with emphasis.

When I finally got on the platform, the eyebrows of the two women who were there immediately raised. They wear the same clothes as mine, but too bad, I look even better in these ones. The three men kept on looking at me.

"Gia and Homa! Get off the platform!" Jade shouted. The two girls stared at me in anger before following Jade's order. I whistled a little.

"Okay, boys, shoot with Beautrin!"

My jaw almost dropped at what the irritating girl named Jade said. What?! Am I going to be posing alone with these three men?

I frowned when I looked at Jade, but her attention was not on me but on the two men who were now smiling while looking at me.

What the heck is happening?!

"Lean your body to Fabio, Beautrin! Yes! That's it! Yes!"

"Now, pretend like you are hovering the three, Beautrin! Yes! Perfecto!"

I couldn't help but close my eyes tightly as I touched Fabio's hard stomach. Brandon, Xander, and Fabio are currently lying on the bed. Both were side by side while I sat on the three of them. I was holding a bottle of the drink that we were modeling today.

"Brandon! Hold Trin's leg! Xander, you touch the waist! And Fabio, bring your face close to Trin's! Hold the left side of her face! Do it in a sensual way!"

Sensual!

I almost hit Fabio in the face with a bottle when he leaned his face on me without saying anything. He laughed weakly because of that.

"Relax, babe, this is a photoshoot..." he whispered before placing the strand of my hair on the other side of my ear.

"Perfect!"

We did many shots that completely exhausted me. Jade was smiling from ear to ear. She looks satisfied with what she did and looking at the two owners of the brand of liquor we are modeling, I guess they love the result as well.

"You look hot, Trin!" Miya greeted me with a smile on her way down from the platform. She was smiling from ear to ear too.

I was exhausted. "I'm always hot, Miya."

She frowned before slapping my butt.

We entered the dressing room and immediately got dressed. I wore a simple crop top and paired it with denim shorts.

"Are you going straight to your condo now?" Miya asked.

I just shrugged. I actually don't have any plans for today. Maybe I will rest because tomorrow, my schedule will be hectic again. I am going to attend a runway show tomorrow night, and in the morning, I have two shoots and then the signing of the contract.

"You did a good job right there, Beautrin." Fabio immediately approached me when I was out of the dressing room.

I smiled sparingly. "You too, and of course, Xander and Brandon did a good job too."

"Miss Trin. The owners wanted to have a cup of coffee with you and the three male models too." One of the staff approached us.

I pouted a little. Well, I guess I'm not going home today as early as I thought I would be.

Chapter 6

Party

"Shot!"

Instead of going straight to the coffee shop, we ended up inside a bar. It's called Catastrophe. This is a place where the rich people usually go. Most of the customers here are elites and those who have a say in the society. Let's say a name. A high profiled name.

"Why don't you drink?" Fabio gave me the glass with just a drink but I shook my head. "You don't drink?" he slightly raised his brow at me. He was sitting on my left while Miya was on my right. We are facing the Coleridge brothers, the owner of Devil's Glass, the liquor that I am currently modeling with Xander, Brandon, and Fabio.

Xander and Brandon aren't here. They said they had something to do now so they didn't come with us.

"I drink, but just not now. I don't feel like doing it right now." I said with a smile. Fabio is actually a gentleman. Well, he's a little bit flirty but tolerable. I think that it's just really his nature. It's his thing.

Fabio's a bit tanned and muscular. His muscles are almost bursting with excessive size. And I also think that he's a mixed. I would doubt if he'll say he's pure Filipino because he doesn't look like one.

"Oh... So, what do you prefer? Juice? Or me?" he let out a smirk and I just chuckled.

"Are you guys enjoying?" We looked at the person who spoke. It was Gresso Coleridge. I think, between him and his brother, Gresso is the most playful. His aura is bright whenever he smiles, but something's a bit odd with him though. And the oldest, Hades Coleridge. He's a silent type. He spoke only once and he usually nods. They're both equally handsome. But, Hades really hits different. Maybe because he's quite mysterious.

"We're more than enjoying, Sir." Fabio raised his glass. Gresso just smirked in return before turning to me. I smiled a bit. His eyes narrowed as he stared at me and then he laughed.

I slightly elbowed Miya.

"You know what, earlier in the shoot, I was staring at you because you really look familiar to me. Isn't she, Kuya?" Gresso asked his brother. Hades just nodded before staring at me. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat.

It's weird. Even me too, I am familiar with the both of them. I just don't really know where I saw them. I don't know. I'm not really sure. Or maybe it's just my feeling.

"Now I know why you're very familiar..." he added before laughing again like he already knew me. I winced.

I frowned but I didn't entertain much of what he said.

"That's impossible, Sir. Beautrin's beauty is one of a kind." Miya said making me feel even more awkward.

Yes. It's really impossible. Maybe I wasn't the one they saw. I almost forgot that I have a twin.

"Anyway, a friend of ours is coming here. He's one of our investor too so..." Gresso drawled while his eyes were still on me. I felt Miya lightly pinch my side as if she saw the man's gaze at me.

"Gresso seems smitten by your beauty..." Fabio laughed softly at my side. Well, that added more of the awkwardness. But I don't think he really is. I feel like he is just curious about me.

I drank my pineapple juice.

I was surprised to see that some of the women who were dancing awhile ago approached our table. They all flop towards the Coleridge brothers. Three for Gresso and one for Hades.

I moved towards Miya's side when the two girls sat on Fabio's lap. He even had the audacity to wink at me before kissing his girls alternately. Well... That's your playboy Fabio right there.

"I hope we didn't go with them anymore." I said before sighing. I thought that we'll be having a real coffee today. But I was not informed that they will be drinking a coffee that would make us all drunk. Well, if only I had the appetite to drink.

"That's okay. I might be able to fish a wealthy CEO here," Miya chuckled and I glared at her. She's not allowed to. She can't be ahead of me. I must fish a CEO first or...maybe we can do it together instead. Pft.

"I'll just go to the restroom..." I informed Miya. She even insisted to come with me but I didn't allow it. I can go there alone, and besides, it's only on the second floor.

I didn't say goodbye to the boys because they were all busy anyways.

When I was inside the restroom, I immediately did my thing. I don't really plan on staying inside because I smell something really strange.

After I retouched and washed my hands, I went out and immediately went down to my table. I was planning on staying on the second floor, but my eyes seemed to be spinning around even though I was only drinking my pineapple juice. Well, the blinding lights made me dizzy, probably.

When I saw the table, I immediately approached Miya, completely ignoring the person who was sitting beside Gresso.

"Miya, let's go home." I told her. I frowned when I saw her eyes widen as she stared at my back and then at me. As if she was trying to warn me or something. She doesn't really have to. I already saw him. I just refused to acknowledge him because that's what we really should do.

"Miya." I scolded. I started to feel irritated because of my headache, it felt like something was digging inside my stomach, you might want to add that I am also feeling so hungry and feel like eating a steak at Jollibee today.

"TTrin..." Miya stuttered.

"Oh, Miss Beautrin, you're here. By the way, this is my friend, Claus Monteserio. He's one of the investors of the company."

I was stoned in my place when I heard his name. Yeah. I thought I was just hallucinating!

Wwhat?! I was hungry so that's why!

I don't know what got into my brain and without saying a word, I just grab my bag from Miya's side before running out of the place.

Shit!

I heard their voices calling me but I didn't listen to it and continued running outside.

I only breath a sigh of relief when I finally got out, but that was shortlived when someone pulled my arms, making me face the person whom, I am supposed to be ignoring right now.

"Yes? Sir?" There. Thank God Beautrin and you didn't stutter. But deep inside I feel like I want the earth's crust to swallow me right now.

He frowned while looking at me.

"You're the model?" he spat out angrily. His face mixed with disgust did not escape me. My stomach churned painfully at the sight. Of course, what do you expect Beautrin?

"Yes." my short answer.

He violently let go of my hand he was holding before staring at me intently. Anger, disgust, and annoyance were the only things I can see in his eyes.

Chapter 7

Dinner

"I hope you feel guilty for rejecting your sister several times. She wanted you to be here for dinner and you what? Continue to reject her."

"What will be my role be at the dinner, Mom, and why do I need to be there? What? To embarrass me?"

"You ungrateful child! Your sister is not like that! Go or"

I cut the call before turning my phone off.

It's eleven in the morning, I just woke up and I can hear my good mother's voice again. Like, what the hell? Can't they let me rest for a day?

I sighed deeply.

Last night was what I call a nightmare. I don't want to remember all the things that Claus said because my heart hurts so much. It's like my heart is being torn apart again and again by hearing those words from his mouth. I don't even want to recall it.

I was crying the whole night. It was almost morning when I completely fell asleep. I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror because I expected my face to look very bad today.

I sighed heavily as I stared at the ceiling.

Until when? How long will I stay like this? Until when will I suffer? I am hoping...I hope I can find a way to forget him forever. Because if I won't do that, who will do it for me? No one. Only I, can do it.

I lazily took a bath that morning. I changed into something casual. I want to go around the mall now and I do hope that people will really respect my privacy. I hope I won't get dragged by the media or the people today. But, should I really expect that?

Miya doesn't want me to go out of my condo alone. I am a public figure so it is expected that my life will not be normal because cameras will chase me everyday. Honestly, I am hoping that one day, I'll be able to do the things I was used to before. The kind of thing where I don't have to look behind to check if someone's following me or something. I miss those days.

I hailed a taxi and the driver brought me to the nearest mall from the condo. The taxi driver was very happy because he said that his daughter is a huge fan of me. He is so kind so I gave him the bracelet I was wearing and told him to give it to his daughter. He was so happy and grateful. It made me smile even more.

He was very grateful to drop me off at the opposite side of the mall. I thanked and waved at him goodbye before going inside.

People kept staring at me as I walked, but I was thankful that no one approached though. Some of them were just secretly taking pictures.

I entered all the stores and clothing shops but at the end, I didn't buy a single one. I think I'd rather look now than actually shop and buy something.

After I exhaust myself with just looking at the branded clothes and I entered a fastfood restaurant to eat my lunch. My eyes immediately lit up when I saw the steak. I don't know but I really want to eat steak at Jollibee right now, then I'll mix the spaghetti and gravy with the fried chicken, I don't know, I really want to close my eyes because it was so delicious to even stay awake and sane.

After ordering, I immediately sat on the vacant seat near the glass wall. It was such a nice view, seeing people from the inside of the restaurant walking and happily chattering.

After eating, I played alone in an arcade games inside the mall. When I was tired, I ate again before going home.

Just after I arrived, my cellphone rang.

Miya was calling...

"Yeah?"

"You went to the mall alone?!" I heard her hysterical voice from the other line. I arched my brow before sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Yes, and so?"

"You are fcking trending on twitter! Some news is coming out that you are pregnant! Why the hell would you go to the Baby's Clothing section?!"

My lips parted. Ah, that? I thought no one noticed that I was inside? I'm just looking at it. I just found the clothes cute so...

After Miya gave me an almost nonstop nagging, and after she was satisfied with it, she completely hung up. I showered again and dressed in a simple off shoulder black dress.

This was a gift from Miya back then and I am only wearing it now. She said that, my closet is too full of designer and branded clothes. She said I need a cheap dress. I don't think this is cheap though. But nevertheless, it looks great on me. I look like a dead angel.

I put a light make up on my face. I took a mirror shot before sending it to Miya. She'll probably be happy seeing this.

I took my pouch. It's channel by the way. It's one of my favorite pouches because it really glows at night. I personally think that the pouch doesn't go with my dress tonight but I don't care. The important thing is that I have a channel.

I sighed.

I left the unit. I'll drive my own way to the house. And I mean the house where I stayed when I was a kid.

I've never been there again since I left home. I was 19 when I decided to move out, and right now, I am 24 already. Time flies so fast, huh? I can hardly remember what the house where I grew up looked like.

It was just half an hour drive and I expected to arrive at 6:30, but I got stuck with the traffic.

I was so irritated when I got there especially that I was very hungry.

I arrive exactly at 7:30 for God's sake! I left the condo early to arrive early but it turns out, it's still late. But at least I came right?

"Long time no see, Ma'am!" Alfred, who has been our guard since then, saluted. I am happy to see him here. I fully thought that he joined his family in the province.

"Brother! I miss you!" I screamed as soon as I got out of the car. I couldn't stop myself from hugging him. Why not, right? He was one of the people who lifted me up and helped me when no one could. When I was young, he was one of my allies whenever Mommy and Daddy scolds me. I even thought that they'll fire him for being on my side, and I'm glad that he wasn't.

"Oh, Mother Delia's daughter is already big..." He laughed softly.

Mother Delia...I will never forget her. She's the best mother that a person could ever have. She raised me and I am so thankful of her because she was one of my inspirations and motivations to be able to stand on my own feet.

And she's the only mother figure that I have not I am very much proud to have.

Chapter 8: Help

"Mother Delia!" I screamed so loud when I got inside. After a while, someone came out from the kitchen. Her eyes widened as she hurriedly walked towards me. I met her halfway before hugging her.

"Oh... My daughter grew up beautifully..." her soft voice made me close my eyes as I hugged her so tight. I kissed the top of her hair, smelling her in the process.

I miss her. I miss my home...

"I miss you, Momma..." I whispered softly. I smiled a little when I felt her hug tightening around me. After a while I heard her sniffed which surprised me. I broke our hug before looking at her. She was already crying. I wiped her tears while stopping mine from falling too. Gosh!

"My daughter...I miss you..."

"Oh gosh..." I hugged her again and kissed her head several times.

"I really miss my Momma too..." my mouth trembled as I spoke. I was on the verge of crying too. My chest started to tighten but I am very happy. I want to regret why I left her here. I wish I had forced her to come with me so that we wouldn't miss each other like this too much.

After our short reunion, she immediately sent me to the pool area because Mommy and Daddy were there. She told me that she'll be cooking my favorite Filipino dish which is called pinakbet that's why I couldn't get rid of my smile when I went to the pool area.

"I'm here!" I said casually. I avoided looking at the other people there and instead, I only stared at Mommy and Daddy.

Daddy's frown was very visible as he looked at me from head to toe. Oh? Don't tell me they will criticize my clothes again. I was about to wear a lingerie here. But I changed my mind because my mother might scold me. And I meant my Momma Delia not the real one who doesn't care any single thing about me.

"Beautrin!" Mommy said in shock but the irritation in her voice did not escape my ears.

I rolled my eyes slightly. I reluctantly kissed my parents' cheeks before sitting on the empty seat next to Mommy.

"Trin..." my sister's soft voice made me stop. Next to her is...her fiance, of course. But I never looked at him. This is what he wanted. For us to be strangers in front of everyone, and who am I to refuse his wish?

I smiled sweetly at my sister before turning to the foods in front. I frowned. My favorite's aren't here. Oh well, I'll just wait for the pinakbet that Momma was cooking for me.

"You were late," Mommy commented later. I shrugged before holding the fork.

"Well, just lil, Mommy... The important thing is that I came, right?" I answered without looking at her. I poked the carrot on the vegetable salad before dipping it in the sauce.

"Sure, Trin. It's okay. We know you're busy. I thought you'd say no again..." I sighed. Sometimes, I really hate my sister for being so soft spoken. I can't be angry with her.

"Uhhuh. This would be the last time too..." I unconsciously murmured while stabbing the carrot repeatedly until it filled my fork and dipped it in the sauce again.

"Beautrin." Dad scolded coldly. I turned to him and smiled lightly.

"Oh, this is Beatriz's twin? Wow... They really don't differ much with the face, but the attitude..." Triz's...Triz's fiancé's mother laughed softly. I've met her before. When I was still together with her son. But I know that she doesn't like me, and so as me. I even forgot her name.

My family doesn't know that I've been in a relationship with Claumy twin's fiancé then so...

"Yes, you got it, Claire. I didn't know where she inherited it." My good mother commented sarcastically as if she didn't want to talk about me. I rolled my eyes before putting my fork down.

I smirked at Mom. I heard Triz's mother's...fiancé's snickered.

"Ah...ah...shall I get our dessert?" Beatriz asked softly. Mommy immediately looked away. I laughed softly because of that.

"Let the maids get it, sweety..." My Mom's sweet voice while talking to my twin.

I pouted and drank the orange juice on the side. While drinking, I couldn't stop myself from looking at the man in front who seemed to be looking at me for a while too. Even if I didn't look, I can feel his sharp gaze on me a while ago.

And I was right. There's nothing really new with the way he stared...so I just shrugged and looked away. Still disgusted and angry, I see.

I sighed.

I will forget you too, Claus. Not now, but I will surely do it.

Soon, the dessert has arrived. My twin helped on preparing it. Mom even tried to stop her but she didn't listen. She cut one piece of chocolate cake before giving it to me.

"I...baked it, twinny.." she whispered sweetly. My heart melted at that. She's really the sweetest. No wonder why he choose her.

"Thank you, twin." I said. "But I prefer the vanilla one." I was craving for it. Minerva, one of the housemaids, was just bringing it in and I was already drooling.

"Oh." Triz hurriedly took the chocolate cake in front of me before taking the vanilla cake from Minerva's hands and giving it to me. "Here. I thought your favorite was chocolate so... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I always actually crave for it..."

"Oh! You are craving? No wonder, some articles appeared earlier that you are pregnant, hija?" The voice of my sister's mother in law sounded mocking. I looked at her and smiled sarcastically.

"Oh! I didn't know you believed such gossip? That's just rumors. Gosh!" I laughed and fanned myself. "Still can't believe that the great Mrs. Monteserio believes in such fuss. I mean... That's literally fake news. Fake." I emphasized the last word causing the woman to grut her teeth in annoyance. Gosh! Did I annoy her too much? That's a pity!

My twin sister again, broke the tension between us and started talking about her baked cakes.

I was more than happy when my favorite pinakbet arrived. I constantly kissed and hug Momma because of that.

"Maybe, my twinny can help me with the wedding preparations?" I coughed because of what my sister said. Mother Delia immediately came to my aid. She made me drink a water while stroking my back.

Gosh!

She's my twin but there's no way in hell that I will help her prepare her wedding with my...ex!